So, I am extremely proud to say that today I stood up for myself.
After a very upsetting two weeks, during which I was treated very poorly by someone I have shown nothing but respect to, I stood up for myself. I let the situation linger probably longer than I should have done, but deep down I hoped that this person would seek me out to explain, to maybe even apologize...as they should have done. But that never came. Moreover, their lack of action in speaking to me meant I found out some 'not-so-great' news from people who assumed I knew because they did....and yet I had not been shown the common courtesy of being told before it became idle gossip.
And I was angry. And upset. And hurt. And pretty darn humiliated too. So I decided I couldn't let it slide, after it plagued me day and night for two weeks. So today, despite my reservations, after two weeks of practice in my head of what I was going to do, and various idle threats about strangling/murdering/keying cars....I stood up for myself.
Luckily, when I went to speak to this person, I wasn't standing alone. I went in by myself, but I knew I had the support of many others behind me - my friends, my family, my husband. People who knew the situation first hand supported me, those who heard it only through me supported me. And so I didn't go in alone, not really.
And, I am proud to say, not only did I speak to this person, but I did a pretty damn great job of it too! I said everything I wanted to say, and said it eloquently. You know sometimes adrenaline runs away with you and you aren't even 100% sure what you are saying until afterwards? Thankfully, that didn't happen. I had practised enough times that I got it all out perfectly, some bits came together even better in the real thing than they had in my practice runs!
Did I get an apology? Or an explanation? Well...what do you think? I got nothing. In fairness, I did say I wasn't looking for explanations, or reasons, I just wanted to let them know how I felt....but even still. I got nothing, not even a sentence in return.
But tonight, instead of stewing over the situation like I have been for the last 12 nights, I feel content, and at ease with the whole thing.
Most of all, I am proud of standing up for myself, especially to someone who is used to being the top dog, and not having people stand up to them. It won't change my situation, and it won't change the way the person acts in the future, but standing up for myself today meant I was able to reclaim some of my pride and self-esteem from where they trampled on it during the last two weeks.
So overall, I feel like today was a victory for me, and I am so glad that despite my nerves, and reservations, I stood up for what was right today, and I am unbelievably grateful for the support of everyone around me who helped encourage me to do so.