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I know I don’t have to tell you all it is the season to be jolly. I am sure you are all very well aware of what season it is. If you aren’t being bombarded by snow, you are drowning in cold rain. It just stopped raining here yesterday.
Arthritis is a pain but, the colder it is the worse it hurts; so I am not a fan of the cold. I am also not a fan of the snow. If I wanted to be trapped in a building surrounded by impenetrable piles of snow, I would still live in Michigan.
As if it were yesterday, I remember those horrid Michigan winters. Snow up to the windows, ice on the steps awaiting for just the right moment to strike, and using a snow plow just to get to your car door. Yes, you can say that a Michigan winter is a lot like the North Pole except, the fat people aren’t as jolly, the elves don’t make toys, and we all know what happens if you get lost in Detroit.
Luckily for me Missouri, likes to live up to its name and only snows when the season doesn’t call for it. It also likes to destroy all plans you have to celebrate the holidays by tossing in a tornado out of the blue. I am convinced that if 2012 is to be the destruction of all people it will begin in Missouri and spread out.
There is no doubt in my mind that a tornado, flood, and hail storm will combine at the same time in an off-season and blow the Arch right into the Mississippi River causing a gigantic vacuüm whirlpool effect and suck the entire surrounding states into the middle of it and drop everything off right smack dab in Mexico. Olé!
Umm NO, I have not been smoking Frankincense again but, I did have a bite of a Golden Myrrh sandwich. It was gooood. I realize that my idea seems far-fetched but, I have lived in this state long enough to know that if you plan something, it will get disrupted. So I am planning mass destruction and will laugh the day after when it doesn’t happen. If by some chance it does happen, remember you read it here first. Shit, if Harold Camping can keep moaning about the end of days than I sure as Hell can too.
Now you may ask me what does all of this have to do with Christmas and/or needing a pet… well… I got nothing! I knew I needed a new post and that it should be somewhat uplifting, so this is what I came up with. Not impressed? Ok, you don’t have to enjoy what I am saying but, you can sit and enjoy the Hamster that I have embedded in this post just for you. Go ahead see if you can walk away and not play with the Hamster. “HAHA…Jen, you are brilliant!” Why yes, yes I am!!!