Of course, there is only one piece of news of any importance at the moment and that is the fact that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, aka, Will 'n' Kate, are attempting the impossible by trying to raise the social standards of 'Noo Yawk'! Yes, I know, a Herculean task but, dammit, they're British so I know they will try their best.
However, I have only just found out that my Arkie e-pal, 'JK', has via the, er, 'good offices' of Barney Magroo - who somehow managed to get the contract for supplying the booze fine wines to the royal reception - aquired a much sought after invitation to this event. The people of Arkansas will be watching JK's behaviour in the presence of the royal couple with some anxiety because the honor of 'Arkieland' rests on his ability to curtsy properly! This might sound easy but after several shots of Magroo's Finest Grand Cru - brought to full maturity in the cellar for at least two hours! - even standing upright is tricky to master, let alone putting one leg behind the other and then bending the other knee.
Then, of course, there is the ritual of greeting the royal couple. I must remind 'JK' that throwing an arm around both of these young people and hollerin' at Will, "Yeeeeeeeeeeee-haw, ain't she got the finest pair of tits north of Little Rock!" is unlikely to get you an invitation for Christmas at Buck House!
I jest, of course, because everything I read of graceful Southern manners makes the behavior of the average Brit look downright gruntish. So, 'Noo Yawk' - and 'Arkieland' - enjoy!