Reader Struggle "My main problem is that I hide my femininity also the bright warm colors are my style half my closet is Chic feminine and elegant but rarely worn I only actually wear it at home outside I still wear a kind of armor of dark ugly suits they're very classic but even with a power color it's just hiding my soft side I feel that all women will hate me and all men will be sexist. Please help"
Have you ever looked into your closet and seen a hidden world waiting to be explored? A world filled with vibrant colours and chic femininity, yet somehow remains untouched most of the time? This is the story of so many intelligent, accomplished women who build our professional armour, our power suits in classic dark colours, that command respect and authority. But beneath that armour lies a yearning for something more, a desire to express the softer, more elegant side of ourselves, yet we can feel too scared for many reasons, to step out in these clothes.
But here's the truth: hiding your femininity doesn't make you more approachable, it can create a barrier. It can send the unintended message that you're closed off, and uninterested in connection.
This is where the ancient concept of Yin and Yang comes in. Yin, the feminine, represents softness, intuition, and creativity. Yang, the masculine, embodies strength, logic, and assertiveness. A harmonious blend of both is what allows us to be whole, powerful, yet approachable.
So, how do you bridge this gap between the boardroom and your inner desires? Here are some actionable steps to embrace your full expression:
Take Baby Steps
Change can be daunting. Start small. Add a soft silk scarf in a pattern or rainbow colour (not a neutral) to your usual suit. Swap the crisp cotton shirt for a flowing blouse with delicate details. Let these small elements peek through your armour, like rays of sunshine hinting at the vibrant you within.
Bring some Yin elements into your current Yang outfits which will balance your feminine side more with that masculine power suit. Over time you may find yourself more comfortable expressing your more feminine side, but start small rather than making a wholesale change overnight which can feel scary and garner more attention than you may wish.
Reframing the Narrative
Challenge the stories you tell yourself.
Most of us think other people are judging us and thinking about us way more than they really are. There are some fascinating areas of research on this topic.
Will women really be threatened by you? Absolutely not! They'll be inspired by your strength and your grace.
As for men, true respect comes from seeing a well-rounded individual, not someone hiding behind an overly masculine persona.
And did you know that wearing colour rather than neutrals actually makes you appear more confident? You don't have to just wear neutrals to exude confidence in the workplace. Start embracing colour in your work outfits.
The Power of Self-Discovery
There's a reason those beautiful feminine clothes hang unworn. Take an afternoon to rediscover your love for colour and style. Play with textures, fabrics, and silhouettes. Find what makes you feel confident and radiant, a feeling that transcends labels like "feminine" or "masculine." Experiment wearing one of your feminine garments back with your classic blazers or jackets.
This is a journey of self-discovery, not a fashion makeover. It's about acknowledging the multifaceted woman you are and expressing that through your personal style.
It's about letting your inner light shine, not hiding it beneath layers of conformity. Remember, the world needs your unique brilliance, in all its colourful glory. So, take a deep breath, step out of your comfort zone, and embrace the woman you were always meant to be.
What Makes You Memorable?
Ways to Balance Your Yin and Yang