Home Games vs. Away Gamesby Brian Gallagher
I've stated before that I have physical custody of my triplet boys. They are almost seventeen and are very mature about relationships so we speak very openly and candidly. That being said I walk a very fine line when it comes to my sexual relationships around my boys. I worry about the women that I bring into the house and into their lives. They don't form attachments like younger kids would but I also want them to understand that I do respect women and don't enter into theserelationships lightly. So when things become physical I face two different scenarios...
Away GamesWelcome to Pleasure Town! A single dad comes to your place, much fun ensues, you kiss or shake hands (whichever you prefer) and the single dad can stay or go home. The single dad can be uninhibited because his kids can't hear the noises, there can be nakedness without concernof interruption and it is like a vacation for him. You get the company of a man who is happy to be with you and focuses solely on the adult activities at hand. The downside is that the single dad feelsguilty for not being with his kids and you may lose your bed partner because the baby sitter has to go home. Of course all of this is out the window if his ex has his kids for the weekend then it is PARTYTIME!
Home GamesWelcome to Oppression Town! The first couple of times that a single dad wants to play a home game you should be prepared for a very inhibited experience. I personally worry that my boys will hear whatis going on despite the fact that they may have heard noises when I was married. A single dad worries about the squeaky bed, the ringing telephone, the dog scratching at the bedroom door, noise carryingthrough the walls and whether the kids saw you come in or not. You may have to leave before the boys get up and if you do you'll have to sneak out like a secret agent trying to steal uranium. It may allfeel very sordid and weird but it is the price to be paid for the first couple of home games.
It may feel uncomfortable and there really isn't anything that he, or I, can do about the feeling. When there isn't a fully committed relationship in place that the kids are a part of it is going to feel like you are somewhere you can't be yourself as a woman. My suggestion is that for the first couple of sleep overs you leave the door open. It shows that adults can sleep together in bed and there not be any cause of concern for the kids. After the third visit the door can be closed and fun can be had. It gives kids a chance to see that there is a relationship built on more than PARTY TIME but on respect for you as a woman and a potential momish.