Seeking Relocation Sponsorship

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
I could get used to this
I am seriously considering writing a heartfelt blog post requesting sponsorship to fund my permanent residency here in Bali.
At this resort.
Spending my days lounging by the pool, sipping cocktails, shopping, sleeping, eating, reading.  But not so much on the reading.  I just put that in there to sound respectable.
Also, I don't think a week is long enough to make my way through either the extensive cocktail list or the dessert buffet.  Obviously it would be sacrilege to leave before completing those tasks, right?
The Feral Threesome are being enriched, educated and entertained in the mother of all Kids Clubs.
It is larger than our house, and has activities targeted at specific age groups that are far more creative and educational than anything I’ve ever done with them.
Unless you count the time I took them to an indoor play centre and they seamlessly joined in on a well-to-do stranger’s birthday party where they received goody bags with educational ELC toys instead of lollies.
Miss6 has started begging to go to the Kids Club each morning, instead of swimming and shopping with me.
Initially, this upset me.  I even tried to buy her affections back by offering up a mother-daughter manicure and pedicure.  But with the assistance of peace and quiet and silence and freedom, I've made peace with it.
The twins are counting further than they could a week ago.  They show more delight at seeing their favorite carers than when we go to pick them up at closing time.  Perhaps they saw #1Hubby and I high five as we dropped them off on the first day, and this is their way of punishing us.
Miss6 is practicing her handwriting WILLINGLY.  No coercion, threats or bribery required.  Of course she is writing Indonesian and Balinese words, but myeh, I’m not phased.  Terima kasih.
I may be wrong, but I swear I have noticed a visible reduction in my scowl lines.
#1Hubby and I have not raised our voices at each other or uttered whispered threats through clenched teeth for a week.  It is a record for us.
We have partaken in afternoon naps. Twice.
And no that is not even a metaphor.
So for the well being of my family, who wants to sponsor our move to this Balinese resort?
I am prepared to sign a reality TV deal that follows my cocktail fueled antics around the resort, between the hours of 9am – 5pm when the Kids Club is open.