I do not believe I have ever put this secret into a full sentence before. My father raped me…for years. Until we moved away at the age of 19. I can not go into more detail because most of the memories have fadded away with the parts of me that ran away.
It left a little broken soul…
Who quit living life
In a dream like state
Trying to fill the empty
The numb
A good friend told me it helps to be thankful. Today I am thankful for:
1) My cat- he has been there for me since the age of four, and was the best thing that ever happened in life. He is the only living thing I could say I have truly loved. Time spent with him curled up in my lap melts my heart… Yes I am a crazy cat lady :3
2) Art/writing/photography/- It has been an outlet to turn to instead of insanity. It helps to sort through thoughts and make sence of things that are buried deep inside.
3) Nature- getting fresh air and focusing on the beauty around helps keep things in perspective
4) Music- It says the things I can not always say and soothes the soul
Good goals to reach for
- Pursue running and dancing as a hobby
- Go to art school because the thought of getting a normal degree is just depressing
- Try to be more positive and honest
- Stop trying to please everyone
- Attain to forgive
- Not be so harsh to others/self
- Try new things
- Move out on my own
- Take responsibility for life
- Possibly try to find a therapist
- Stop obsessing about negative things
What are you thankful for? Do you have goals set for yourself?
Stay strong <3 you are not alone