-Scarlett Johansson covers the new issue of Marie Claire, in which she talks about her turn-offs (“jealous behaviour”) and her marriage to Ryan Reynolds (“It wasn’t that long ago but I think I’ve had a fair amount of time to process the experience”). No word if the two topics are connected.
-Amanda Bynes hit the gym in fishnets and burst into tears when her wig fell off while attempting a cartwheel. “It’s ok, we’ve all been there,” said absolutely nobody.
-It was a big weekend for trashy blondes! Jenna Jameson was arrested for allegedly beating up her former assistant, a fellow porn actress. Meanwhile, Jaime Pressly and Estella Warren questioned by police after getting into an altercation over a missing phone at Hollywood hot spot. (Frankly, both of those ladies should just be grateful they can still get into Hollywood hot spots at all.)
-Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry are engaged, and their proposal story is really cute.
-Halle Berry (who’s 46. 46!!) showed off her baby bump this weekend, both on purpose and otherwise.
-Jenna Dewan bares her bulging belly bump in the new issue of Glamour.
-I was confused about how exactly Beyonce and Jay-Z managed to get around the US tourism embargo to visit Cuba last week. Apparently, I’m not alone.
-I love that Kelly Clarkson is basically a professional photo-bomber at this point.
-Courtney Love says she’s been approached to judge “one of these talent shows” that’s currently on TV. Oh jeez. I already get weekly phone calls from my mother asking me to explain Nicki Minaj‘s (“Meen-ash”) presence on Idol to her. I can’t even begin to contemplate how she’d deal with this new development…
-Miley Cyrus may or may not have been photographed smoking weed this weekend.
-Kristen Stewart is reportedly encouraging Robert Pattinson to pursue a music career. I didn’t totally hate this song and I’m still not 100% sold on his acting abilities so…yay?
-Leonardo DiCaprio is reportedly giving Bradley Cooper dating advice, and it’s as terrible as you’d expect it to be.
-The Oblivion press tour has taken a weirdly desperate turn. Just how desperate, you ask? Check out these photos of Tom Cruise making dumplings in Taiwan.
-Last night’s Mad Men season premiere got lower ratings than last year’s.
-The guy who plays Morgan on The Mindy Project is going to be a dad. That’s good — he has so much knowledge to pass down to a new generation (mostly surrounding prison etiquette).
-Drew Barrymore doesn’t think women can have it all. Well, that settles it, then!
-I’m a fan of the Veronica Mars t-shirt designs for the Kickstarter supporters (especially the blinds one). I’m assuming it comes with Jason Dohring too? ‘Cause that would make me feel a whole lot better about my donation.
-Also, they released a director’s cut of the Kickstarter video, which features a few more seconds of Veronica/Logan adorableness!
-Gwyneth Paltrow threw a birthday party for her son on Saturday, which looked crazy fun.
-There was a bunch of bad tween tension on Twitter this weekend, first featuring Drake Bell vs. the Beliebers, and then with The Wanted vs. One Direction. Simmer down, everybody!
-Seth Green talks about that time he scaled the Sydney Opera House, for some reason.
-This might be the most disturbing thing to come out of Breaking Bad. At least Byran Cranston‘s tweet about it makes it a little easier to deal with.
-Chris Brown is reportedly cursing another woman with his presence.
-Meanwhile, Rihanna is bringing vintage Ottawa Senators jerseys back in style.
-Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder stopped by a Toronto hospital to visit a sick fan while they were in town for Easter recently.
-A friend of Lindsay Lohan (she still has those?!) is worried about her health if she goes to Coachella. Hell, I’m worried about my health if she goes to Coachella. (Sidenote: four more sleeps!)
-Meanwhile, Lindsay and her boyfriend broke up, preventing us from ever having to learn his name.
-Selena Gomez claims no guys have asked her out since she broke up with Justin Bieber.
-Jack Black got roasted at the Friars’ Club on Friday and it sounded awesome.
-David Cross and Julia Stiles are really sad about the world ending in a new clip from It’s a Disaster.
-I’m actually surprised it took this long for Chanel to sign Diane Kruger as a spokesperson.
-It’s a good day if you want to listen to covers of the Game of Thrones theme song. Scottish band CHVRCHES just recorded an electro version, but I think I prefer this cello cover.