Four years ago a journalist, who enjoys covering non-league football matches on winter evenings, emailed another journalist, who enjoys quirky facts, to inform him that Cornish team Perranporth, who play at St Piran League Division 4 West, known as the Pilchards. Also that their manager had once said: "I'm devastated."
Thus began a periodic correspondence in which we regaled each other with new revelations about nicknames from the lesser-known layers of English football. We discovered the Highwaymen, the Peppermints, the Jam Boys and the Dabbers. Muscular names such as the Spijkers, the Sluismannen, the Turbines and the Ijzer. And graceful ones such as the Tulips, the Lilies, the Marigolds and the Dolly Blues.
Related: The Joy of Six: sporting nicknames | John Ashdown
We found varied delicacies such as the Bloods, the Urchins and the Holy Blues. Animals from the pews to the hippos. Obvious ones like the Mintcakes and the Baht'atters... If even that surprises you, you'll find all the answers below.
But it's the non-obvious names that are the most distracting. For example, West Midlands team Halesowen Town are known to their devotees as the Yeltz. It dates from at least 1881 and appears to be related to the Black Country custom of changing an initial H to Y. So it may refer to the place name or it may be a corruption of "Ye Earls", the earls of Dudley who were the major landowners. of the area. Or something else.
Stamford FC in Lincolnshire are the Daniels, the town is the burial place of Daniel Lambert (1770-1809), 52 stone and famously the fattest man in England. Not really a sporty role model after all. Then there are the Geordies, Hanwell Town FC, on the Paddington line west of London - who were founded by exiled Novocastrians and still play in black and white stripes 103 years later. And what about the Krooners, Camberley Town? They play at Krooner Park, so-called because it was paid for by the winnings of a horse named Krooner.
The story continues
On a planet that only has about six English football teams, this was a great diversion. It was a lesson in geography, history and local lore as well as an insight into the wisdom of the crowd and the infinite diversity that still exists in an increasingly homogenous country. It is also highly addictive. But the rarely explored depths of English football are far from the only wells in the nicknamed oilfield.
Perhaps nowhere in football does it better than the Scots. Think of the Bully Wee, the Blue Brazil, the Red Lichties, the Doonhamers, the Loons and the Hi Hi. Loch Ness FC, who reached the Scottish Cup this year, do not possess the obvious name that could sink even the Hippos. But they're not above using the connection to sell merchandise.
Some nicknames seem to have gathered dust. Do the residents of Abu Dhabi's northernmost colony talk among themselves about the Citizens? When was the last time you heard a mention of Spurs as the Lilywhites or Leeds as the Peacocks? Even when they were in the Football League almost half a century ago, did anyone ever shout in Southport: "Come on, you Sandgrounders"?
And where nicknames, like terrace chants, should be a form of folk art, this is now a global infantilization spread by marketing departments. Crystal Palace (née the Glaziers) and Reading (née the Biscuitmen) are now the Eagles and Royals, which is fit for headlines. And fake nicknames from above are rife in rugby (which has produced such zoological nonsense as the Leeds Rhinos and the Sale Sharks) and cricket.
Only one decent name has emerged from such a source: the Northamptonshire Steelbacks, the nickname of the local regiment whose 18th-century soldiers were famous for their phlegmaticness when subjected to cat-of-nine-tails discipline. It could also refer to the modern cricket team, which also remains stoic despite being beaten regularly.
Sometimes public opinion weighs more heavily than officialdom. West Bromwich Albion's old nickname, the Throstles, has long been superseded by the Baggies, which probably refers to baggy shorts or to the bags in which the turnstile attendants carried the coins. The writer Phil Shaw, now based in Shrewsbury, reports that it is very cool to call the local team the Shrews; the crowd always calls it Salop. There are also nicknames within nicknames. Like the Gooners.
But look further afield. Wikipedia has a huge list of American college teams with numerous boringly obvious animals, but also the Banana Slugs, Pronghorns, Thundering Chickens, Gamecocks, Triceratops, Fighting Artichokes, Minutewomen and Zips.
American nicknames are usually part of the official name and are therefore compiled and discarded based on changing tastes. In the nation's capital, the basketball-playing Washington Bullets turned into the Wizards and the Redskins recently became the Commanders, for obvious reasons. And this year, the city's George Washington University changed the team's name from Colonials to Revolutionaries, a switch that might have made more sense in the 1770s.
We should also note Alabama's minor league baseball team, the Rocket City Trash Pandas (local slang for raccoons), a name that dates back to 2017 and should be flagged for obvious and apparently successful attention-seeking.
Also, nicknames are not an English-language monopoly. Every African football team has a nickname, ranging from South Africa's evocative Bafana Bafana (the boys, the lads) to Benin's Les Écureuils (the squirrels - small but able to climb), which the country's football authorities are trying to change into Cheetahs, a move that deserves to fail. Spain has Los Boquerones (Málaga), Los Colchoneros (Atlético Madrid), Queso Mecánico (Albacete) and Los Pepineros (Leganés) - the anchovies, the mattress makers, the Clockwork Cheese and the cucumber growers (several hats to Niall from The Guardian McVeigh).
In Germany, Eintracht Frankfurt is variously referred to as Die Adler, Schlappekicker and Launische Diva - the Eagles (boring), Slipper-kickers (delightful) and Moody Diva (ditto, referring to their unlikely swings in form).
Perhaps the best of all we know so far is "The Diddy", the now official nickname for Sydney's Longueville Sporting Club. The club, which was mainly involved in lawn bowls but now mainly welcomed children, had long suffered from the average age of its members and the inevitable consequences. Old friends disappeared and when anyone asked where they were, he was told the sad news that was often met with the words: "Oh, he died, didn't he?" And the phrase stuck and it became the Diddy-Dies, before being shortened further, so as not to scare the kids.
Someone, somewhere from Cowdenbeath or China, might have a better nickname story than this. Let us know and maybe we can discover even more gems.
On Tuesday, Richard Whitehead is likely to watch Wimborne Town (the Magpies) against Larkhall Athletic (the Larks). Matthew Engel won't do that.What's in a (nick)name?
Peppermint Newquay, Cornwall
Jam guys Whitchurch United, Hampshire
Dabbers Nantwich Town, Cheshire
Nailers Belpertown, Derbyshire
Sluismen Willenhall Town (suspended), West Midlands
Iron Scunthorpe United, Lincolnshire, and Braintree Town, Essex
Tulips Spalding United, Lincolnshire
Lilies Chatteris Town, Cambridgeshire
Marigolds Littlehamptontown, West Sussex
Blood Saffron Walden Town, Essex
Sea urchins Hornchurch, East London
Sacred Blues Gainsborough Trinity, Lincolnshire
Pewits Emley, Yorkshire
Hippos Honiton Town, Devon
Mint cookies Kendal town, Cumbria
Baht'atters Ilkley, West Yorkshire
Bully Small Clyde, Glasgow
Uncertain parentage, but possibly 'bullying' in the Victorian sense of excellent, even though 'woe'
Banana slugs University of California, Santa Cruz
Pronghorns Gillette College, Wyoming
Thundering chickens Community College, Wheeling, West Virginia
Fighters Jacksonville State University, Alabama
Triceratops Community College, Cuyahoga, Ohio
Control artichokes Community College, Scottsdale, Arizona
Minutewomen University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Zippers University of Akron, Ohio