Santa Email: Christmas Shopping While Sipping Wine and Wearing Tracksuit Pants

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
Sound the alarms - Christmas is a mere 64 days away. It's well and truly time to start whining... "What do I get Miss7 that she won't roll her eyes at and tire of before Boxing Day?" "What do I get the Twin Tornado that they won't fight over and swap, thus realising they clearly had the better gift in the first place, and demand the return of said original gift just to annoy the other twin, thus starting yet another toy hostage situation?" "What do I get the niece/nephew I've been an utterly crap Aunt to and not seen all year and therefore have no clue what they're into?" "What do I get that kid from school who always gives my kid a gift, and so I feel the need to reciprocate without actually knowing anything about them?" SantaEmail.com.au is a free service that takes all the angst and guess work out of buying Christmas gifts for children.  Not to mention the lengthy time spent in post-Christmas queues to return unsuitable, age-inappropriate, unwanted or double-up gifts. Here's how it works, in 10 easy steps:
  1. Sit your child in front of the computer.
  2. Chastise them for going straight to YouTube and searching for Lady Gaga.
  3. Firmly decline their whiney request for a meat dress and bedazzled face.
  4. Wrestle the keyboard from said child, go to www.santaemail.com.au and enter their details.
  5. Watch as they search the site and create their wish list.
  6. Mentally calculate their list total to be the equivalent to your entire life debt. Shudder.
  7. Once they've finished (and they've only finished because they've selected EVERYTHING) marvel at the enormity of it.
  8. Search for an InStyler, the magical hair straightener/curler/dryer brush thing that's on the infomercials.  You're totally suspicious as to its merits and wouldn't risk buying it yourself.  Instead, pass it off as something Miss7 wants, and you never know the generosity of family.
  9. Send the enormous list to everyone who may be taken with your children enough to purchase them a Christmas gift.
  10. Take advantage of your child's euphoric state on account of having just emailed Santa, and suggest they clean the toy room / make their bed / eat a whole head of broccoli because Santa loves it and he's watching now that he's got their email.
In maintaining the list theme of this post, here's what I like about SantaEmail:
  • It's simple to share your list/s via email and Facebook.

  • It takes the guess work out of Christmas present shopping.  No more agonising over Bratz V Barbie or Cars V Hot Wheels.

  • It's globally accessible.  My in-laws live in a country town with limited shopping choices.  We're talking Pharmacy toiletries and beauty products.  SantaEmail lists have links to search and compare prices, and details of where to purchase online. 

  • Once an item is purchased from the list, it's crossed off.  Thus reducing the likelihood of you standing in the post-Christmas sales queues to return 3 of the 4 Mermaid Dora dolls your kid got.

  • The kids get a kick out of emailing Santa their wish list.

  • Absolute, hands down, best benefit of all - it can all be done from the comfort of your living room while wearing tracksuit pants, drinking wine, and watching The Real Housewives of all the world.

Triple Ho's to you all

Essentially, I have just made your Christmas shopping simple. You're welcome. You can check it out here ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Disclaimer:  This is a sponsored post for Santa Email, via Digital Parents Collective.  I received a Visa gift card for this post.  I am also in the running to win a pamper pack.  As always, all opinions are purely my own. As if I could shut up long enough to give anyone elses opinion, am I right? And OMG how long would the post be if I did sprout someone elses opinion/text as well as my own?