Contributor: Henry T.
Written by David Goodman and Liz Tigelaar
Directed by Dean White
Sometimes, it seems that “Once Upon a Time” is too simple. This is what happens when the focus is thrown all onto the kids of the show. Now, there are apparently other kids in Storybrooke (even though we’ve never seen or heard of them before now) besides Henry and they’re thrust into the path of the stories involving the adults as well. Beyond that, there isn’t much depth to this re-telling (or re-interpretation if the details about the father count) of the story about Hansel and Gretel. There’s even the waste of a prominent guest star from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, and when that happens, it’s not an episode that is going to get high marks here. They try, but it’s really more filler than anything else.
When Emma gets called in to investigate a shoplifting crime that involves the real world stand-ins for Hansel and Gretel, she takes a shine to them. They’re orphans, and since Emma was an orphan herself, she thinks it’s her responsibility to find the kids’ parents. This is all done in a straightforward and efficient manner, as Emma gets a compass from Mr. Gold and the possessor turns out to be the father, who happens to live in Storybrooke as well.
The compass also belonged to the father of Hansel and Gretel in the fairytale world. The Black Queen tasks the children to go to the Blind Witch gingerbread house to steal something, and in return, she will help with the searching of their lost father. Though, it’s predictably revealed at the end that the Black Queen kidnapped the father in order to get what she really wanted: the apple she will use to poison Snow White.
I would argue that neither the search in the real world or fairytale world yielded much in terms of payoff. Emma confronts Michael about his abandonment issues, at the same time projecting her own unpleasant foster issues onto the whole situation, which piques Henry’s interest in his biological father. I would maintain that the fact that Emma lied to Henry about his father means that it will be something explored in the future so this is all set up. Heck, it might be the mysterious stranger who wanders into town at the very end of the episode. All of it going on while she promises to keep the children together and not really sticking to that promise.
It was cloying and manipulative to have those children desperately begging to stay together. They developed no personality of their own, which is a shame because we might never see them again. The connection between Michael and the children was faint, at best. In the fairytale world, the mission is simply to infiltrate the Blind Witch’s house and steal the satchel. They would’ve gotten away with it had Hansel not be the dumb one and eaten a giant cupcake. Again, all of this is way too predictable, and the horrible special effects add to the cheesy nature of the entire endeavor. Emma Caulfield does nothing in the role of the Blind Witch, then gets burned alive after five aggregate minutes of screen time. “Ringer” basically did the same thing with another “Buffy” alum (Amber Benson). Disappointments like that should not be unnoticed.
The show also addressed what has been its biggest oddity to date: the fact that Mary Margaret is actually Emma’s mother. It takes place in the episode’s best scene no less, as both women acknowledge how weird that fact is and easily laugh it off. Only, Mary Margaret does the strange thing of sniffing Emma’s childhood blanket longingly and for a moment, it looked like she might get used to the idea that she birthed Emma in a long-forgotten past life.
Any other normal person would seemingly flip out at such an outlandish notion, but in that moment, it seemed like the show had finally embraced how weird it actually is. The show needs more of that. It needs to build around the weirdness of that moment with more like it. These bland re-tellings of familiar bedtime stories are getting old, fast. The show could definitely use more juice. It seems to have lost whatever momentum was built when the calendar flipped to the new year.
Grade: 5/10