New year, fresh start. Maybe one or two New Year’s resolutions have been made regarding health, exercise, TV, computer and social media usage, or work. There might be a few areas that need a big clear out, and a housecleaning might be necessary before the spring to let the warmth of the sun shine through the windows. But, to make sure the sewer pipe isn’t completely blocked, we might need to even clean the less pleasant areas of our home: our marriages. That is one of our jobs; we help marriages and families to become whole, healed and clean.
The biggest obstacles to healing marriages stem from two lies. The first one: just because there has been a blockage and there is a fountain shooting dirt and goo in all directions, there is nothing else to do other than shut the door, lock it, and throw away the key – this lie states we must start all over again far away from each other. The lies tell us the damage is too severe to do anything about. The second lie is a bit simpler: love has ended.
We continue to face these two lies as reasons not to forgive the other and move on because: “This mess is not my fault.” Or we use it to explain a behavior because: “There is nothing left between us.”
Does this mean that you should live in a relationship where chaos is around you every minute of the day? Should you put up with conflicts and exchanging harsh words between each other? Or should you have to put up with silence, or have to deal with your spouse being emotionally distant?
No, that is not a life for anyone to live – not for the children, in-laws, neighbors, friends or you. On the contrary, it is not the life of abundant joy, love and adventure we know is out there fore us. No, that kind of relationship and marriage should really be left behind – together!
But, if we tell you how simple this is by just sowing seeds of faith and hope into people’s hearts, in the midst of their lies, right in their infidelity, right in their porn addiction betrayal and in the midst of their broken and wounded hearts, how men and women slowly dare to raise their heads and begin to see what actually is left underneath all that sludge from wastewater that has been around far too long. All that fine, strong and beautiful love that once was is now hiding under the smelly goo. Perhaps now you see more of what we see in a broken, wounded and perhaps (for a few), even a dead marriage. But, underneath all that there is something that would like to come to light.
Starting to clean up after lying, or after deceit of any nature, is far from easy, fun or odorless. Sometimes when we as spiritual nurses take care of wounded and infected hearts, the stench is unbearable. But when we carefully and gently wash the wounds clean with faith and hope and put on bandages, love has a very good habitat to grow strong again. Infected wounds may require time and needs to be looked after continuously before it’s ready to heal. Sometimes forgiveness takes time; it is not the same as a pipe that’s sprung a leak and can be repaired, or a broken relationship that will never be mended.
We all make errors, we all sometimes make wrong decisions with disastrous consequences, but do not let the wrong decisions taken yesterday or in the past stand in the way of making the right decisions today.
The greatest gift man has been given is summed up in one word called GRACE. It is God’s proof of his infinite love for us human beings. In God’s love IS forgiveness healing and restoration for all. He IS the love that can never end. Family & friends International believe that every broken marriage can be a restored marriage. We believe that every broken family can be a restored family. That is what Grace does.“Restore My Marriage 2014″
Johan & Linda Odén