Report: World’s Unluckiest Man Luckily Gets Media Attention

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

The Mail reports that a Florida man may be a candidate for World’s Unluckiest Man. He has been hit by lightning, survived a rattlesnake bite, and has been bitten by a shark while fishing in the Bahamas.

3 Questions That Arise From This Story

1. Hey, media, where do you get your definition of “unlucky?” Unlucky would be dying from any of those things. Really unlucky would be getting a rattlesnake bite, while being bitten by a shark, and then getting hit by lightning, and dying, while the shark and snake get missed by the lightning completely.

2. Hey, media, if you’re going to put “World’s Unluckiest Man” in a headline, is there an award to go with that? Our guess is “no.” That said, doesn’t winning an award for being unlucky, make you lucky? After all, it’s the snake-bitten nominees, who don’t win a trophy, who are relatively unlucky.

3. Hey, media, what about the lightning’s point of view? Hitting somebody and almost accidentally killing them? Thunder isn’t going to be happy when lightning gets home from work and has to explain the potential multimillion dollar lawsuit that could result from that.