Stephen and I knew from the beginning, we wanted to write our own vows. I, the one who always tries to plan ahead, wrote my vows around the October before our April wedding. Stephen, who was waiting to “feel” the right things to say, wrote his vows about 1 week before our April wedding. Regardless of when they were wrote, both were heartfelt and so special as we spoke them to each other on the day we vowed our love and dedicated our lives to one another for the rest of our days.
Then “they lived happily ever after” becomes the reality of being married, and of course, as two people try to merge their worlds, conflict comes up. One night, as an issue arose, I wanted to avoid the conflict because that’s how I naturally deal with conflict. I was fine going to bed and just forgetting about it and turning my back to him as we tried to fall asleep. But then he said those words that I hated to admit he was right:
“We said in our vows that we would never go to bed angry.”
Ouch. I did say that, didn’t I? So with that, I rolled over back toward him and kept my word.
After that, to help keep ourselves accountable to what we promised each other in our vows in front of all of our friends and family, we decided to print our vows and hang them on a wall we pass all the time in our house. So, right there, in front of us, we could continue to read them and never forget the foundation of what our marriage is built upon.
Do you remember what you said in your vows? Even if you didn’t write them for your wedding, it’s never too late to write new ones and frame them. Or even if you are single and still waiting for that perfect one for you, what kind of marriage do you envision having? One thing I did in my single years was write a “Relationship Manifesto” of everything I was believing God for that I would have in a marriage one day. It was so awesome to have that blueprint of what helped lay the foundation of what I would one day vow to my husband.