It was about a year ago that Dad started getting really sick. Since we never knew what Mom and Dad would need and when, we got into the habit of making sure everything was done as quickly as possible. There wasn't a lot of time to just sit and read the paper on a Sunday because we were running here and there -- either for us or Mom and Dad.
Now that Dad is gone, we find ourselves trying to re-establish some kind of a normal routine. This afternoon we found ourselves sitting on the couch reading the newspaper and catching up on a few shows we recorded. It was the kind of Sunday afternoon that would have been normal a while ago.
Today I found myself trying to relax. Every time I settled in, I felt like I should have been doing something. It was as if I had forgotten how to relax. I kept waiting for the phone to ring or to remember that there was something I needed to do. It took a while before I realized I could just do nothing. It was okay to spend an afternoon just hanging out at home.
It's another step towards our new normal. The constant worry about Mom and Dad is gone. It's replacement isn't fitting comfortably yet, but I'll spend more time relaxing on Sundays until it finally fits.