Regret: A Good Thing

By Momishblog @momishblog
I'm inspired this morning.  Inspired to see my regrets in life as a good thing.  Yep.  Having regrets in life is good thanks to Kathryn Schulz's inspiring TED Talk titled "Don't regret regret".  I happened on her TED talk recently thanks to a series of online bunny trails and approached the video clip with admitted skepticism.  I have always been one to say that I didn't have regrets, I only had life lessons (yes, I can blow sunshine up my own skirt when no one's around to do it for me)  Her talk has me thinking.  Thinking in that profound way that will certainly lead to meditation and prayer in the near future.
The first money line for me (and what hit me in the face so hard I teared up) was, “If you’re sitting there stressing about large cap versus small cap, or company A versus company B, or should you buy the Subaru or the Prius, let it go. Odds are, you’re not going to care in five years.”  Making the life change to writer/blogger/freelance-whatever-pays-the-bills has me stressing about money these days.   The Hubs doesn't stress about it because he knows we're fine and have made the right choices financially.  I on the other hand, stress about it constantly.  Kathryn is right.  Odds are in five years I'm not going to care.  I may actually sleep without money nightmares tonight thanks to her!
The other line from Kathryn's talk that I loved so much was “Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we know we can do better.”  What a powerful statement.  When I think about how it applies to my role as a Momish, I find it even more powerful.  Her point and one that I tend to agree with is that having regret means that we love and care enough to see that we could do things differently.  Those "flawed and imperfect things we create" are part of us.  We can take the lessons we learn from those regrets to build something better for ourselves and our families or we can wallow in the regret part.  I didn't necessarily create every regrettable situation that I've been in as Momish but I love The Hubs & The Sonish enough to look at how my part could be done better in the future.  It makes me thankful to love my family enough to regret anything that might have hurt them even in the smallest way.  Kathryn's TED Talk also leaves me hopeful that I can build on any mistakes or regrets I've made on this mapless journey to become a better stepparent and a better person.