Red Hot Lace for Fall
By Chineze
@uhmayzinginez
c/o Rosegal Shoes | local shop bought mini dress and skirt
It’s not news that Fall is upon us. Fall fashion is my favorite of the seasons because it’s mostly about deep jewel tones. This year red is the hottest color for Fall and I’m embracing it hotly. I have always loved red. It has always had different meanings to me and I have worn the red shade in different outfits, but I think this is about the third time that I am restyling this lace mini dress. I’ve worn it with a pair of leggings and wrap around heels. I’ve worn it with an Ankara skirt layered underneath and today I’m wearing it with my favorite tulle tutu skirt layered underneath and these stripe minimalist heels from Rosegal.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the subject of humiliation and couples who are in a toxic cycle of humiliating their mate. What would you do if you had a mate who enjoys and intentionally humiliates you everywhere? Blog, Job, Home, Streets, Bus, Facebook account.....every damn place of one's existence that the power and influence could reach. A red flag of hell to come if you ask me.
What would you do if you wished dearly to escape it, but cannot escape? You wished dearly that those who participated in the elaborate scheme do not reach out to contact you for any reason, but they keep coming? If they remain constant reminds of when they near drove you to suicide?
Red tales are hot versions of a story. There is mine, there is yours, there is that of the people who acted roles and there is the version that is the truth. But, one learns that safety and security is more important than the urgency of telling a version of a story. Perhaps it's the pain of poverty that one can no longer tell a story, or it's the fear of loss or the threat of further humiliation.It was while watching Cersei's humiliation in Game of Thrones (I am an adult) that I really contemplated many sides to her peculiar situation as it reminded me of an almost similar experience I had gone through in secondary school. After watching that scene I had heaved a sigh and blessed heavens I had survived the red hot shame of the incidence and I also realized I had actually healed from it. Shaming a person is a very different thing from humiliating a person. People get shamed everyday for doing wrong; it could be immediate verbal lashing or a condescending look. Humiliation can lead a person to suicide, completely alter a person's personality or cause a person to confess things such as love or accept a tale that goes against a person's beliefs. Is sharing a story of abuse done to seek pity? or gain? I was accused of doing so. Along with numerous other unbelievable accusations from people so enveloped in their own insecurities to see their own morbid projections. I wasn't humilaited for having committed a crime that I am aware of. I went through three years of constant humiliating bullying for living my life. For choosing music I love, for expressing my own opinions and discovering the world around me. For taking steps to improve my life and existence and sharing my knowledge about diamonds and diamond accent jewelry to begin with.
Perhaps. I'm now beyond humbled ( pathetically so) to consider any other option but silence. Now, I am very ripe for use. You have observed my steady decline in health and body weight. What you have been unaware of was/is the weight of what I had been running from for the past three years, beginning in 2014.
The whole situation is funny (I don't mean it merits a laugh) irony. Hopefully, I get to use this red lace mini dress a lot of ways before it's old enough to go in the discard pile.
Disclaimer: I am unaware of being married to anybody by the name Ted Phido or Bandele Ade and I did not agree to any contract giving them rights to me 'talents' Neither did I in any form sign away my blog, home, social media accounts to be used in any capacity by any company belonging to persons bearing the names above.