Reach Out And Touch Someone

Your friends are your most important resource.  By that I include not just your good friends with whom you drank too much rum last weekend (thanks Dave!) but also those slightly weaker relationships like the people you used to work with at your last company, the folks you volunteered with at that Wetlands Restoration project or even the folks you went to school with all those years ago.  These are the people who will help you find jobs, get home loans, find the right school for your kids, buy a good car or build that surfing website you’ve been thinking of.  That is the very essence of a good network, a great bunch of people who help you when you need help.  The only problem is that most people are absolutely clueless about managing a network like this.

Sooo….

First, if you’re thinking of a network as something to be “managed” for future gain, you’re already on the wrong track.  A network isn’t the place you go to when you need help, it’s the people you interact with even when you don’t want anything.  That’s the key right there.  If you only interact with people in your network when you need something then those people will start thinking about you as one of those creepy guys who show up to networking events just to collect business cards so they can spam you email offers later on.  Honestly, if you had a friend who only got in touch with you when they needed something, would you be happy to see an email from them?  Would you really want to help them out?

No, a network is not a bunch of contacts you call when you need help, a network is a collection of friends.  They may be weak friendships of the sort you don’t keep in touch with every day, but they are still friendships.  And friends are not people you get in touch with just because you need something.  Friends are people you get in touch with because you’re interested in their day to day lives, because you want to catch up, because you saw a link they might be interested in or just because you need someone to try out that new Indian restaurant with.

If you do this, those people in your network are going to remember you.  They’re going to keep you in mind if they see a link you might be interested in, a company that might be a good client for you or a job you might be a good fit for.  They’re going to do that without you asking because that’s what friends do, they look out for one another.  And yes, if you need help and reach out to them, they’ll help because they consider you a friend.

Today’s Assignment

So today, look at your network and reach out to people.  Do this even if you don’t need anything from them.  Just reach out and say hi.  Ask them how they’re doing.  Ask them if they want to grab lunch because you heard of a great new pastrami place near their office.  Be casual and remember, these are your friends, so treat them as such.