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Raising children is journey filled with inspiring wonderful moments mixed with moments of despair. Parenting books are often filled with universal solutions - use this idea and all the problems will disappear. The problem is that every child is different and so is every parent - a creative approach is often necessary to transform an idea so that it fits into your circumstances. A good parenting book should provide inspiration and ideas that can built upon and modified.
Steve Biddulph, the author of Raising Boys, is well known for his common sense and easy style. He has a condition called Aspergers syndrome (go here to read more about the condition) and he had a tough time when he was growing up. He used his experiences to explain to others about ways to overcome problems. He may be easily distracted, a symptom of Aspergers syndrome, but his writing is focused, and his books deal with important issues that may face many parents.In this book, he turns his attention to problems facing girls. Everywhere a young girl goes “she sees messages that make her feel that she is not good enough”.
Girls may experience bullying and feel pressure from media to dress and look in certain ways. Today, many companies are directing their marketing campaigns on pre-teens and young girls. The message is often that the way you look is the most important thing in life. The core of the problem may not be solved by using ideas in the book - campaigns for none, less or different types of advertising are necessary. Ideas for changing the perception on girls and women are needed. But maybe this is not ultimate intention when you write a parenting book. The aim is to provide ideas that are helpful for families and parents.
Ideas such as mobilising an “aunties’ army” to support girls and to take some of the pressure away, from especially mothers, may work well in some families. Biddulph points out that no girl and her mum always get along. And girls may benefit from having an aunt to talk to about things that may feel embarrassing or awkward to discuss with their mothers.
The book provides you with ideas about:
- How to give girls’ confidence and self-belief
- How to undo or prevent the harmful messages the world gives to girls
- Stories of girls winning over adversity
- How to develop relationships between boys and girls
By working around the original idea, using some creative thinking, you may found a solution that work for your daughter. Books are stepping-stones to enhance your own thinking and help you find inspiration and ideas. “Creative” reading is necessary when it comes to parenting books and Steve Biddulph’s book gives you advice full of common sense. Yet the advice only becomes a successful tool in your hands if you change and adapt it to your circumstance. Avoiding toys that are sexists and focuses on looks is difficult. You can talk to other parents and this may work to some extent. You can support your child to be strong and develop a healthy body image. Encourage your daughter’s interest and develop ways to support her to feel secure and content with who she is. Every child deserves to have dreams and society should change to support every child, and Biddulph's books provide ideas to support families in the fight towards a more equal society.
Go here to read about the book Pink and Blue Language Development. There are several blogposts about parenting, go here, here, or here to read more.