Racines

It's been... being home these past two weeks. I feel like a familiar stranger. Whereas I've accumulated stories, they've acquired new furniture, higher paychecks, exciting engagements. And as much as I'm genuinely happy to revel in it with them here, I can't shake my unsettling worry. Because I want all of that, too. Mundane may not be appealing, but my gosh how I crave comforting stability. I don't wish to stay in this transient state of being forever.
Thankfully, I usually catch myself before getting too carried away with that thought. I have so freaking much to appreciate now.
As my family and I prepare to celebrate Christmas Eve and Day, I'm reminded how silly it is that I have presents to look forward to. There are so few things I need. And what I seem to want--the eventual home, career, beloved--cannot be wrapped up with a bow.
In Portugal, Lara, Lorelei, and I had a conversation about manifestations, or rather, French words we can't ever remember the English equivalents to. In this case, I blame our lapses in memory on the fact that strikes don't take place in the U.S. as often as they do in France. Plus, "manifestation" is already a word in English. "An event, action, or object that clearly shows or embodies something, especially a theory or an abstract idea." Why not make this coming year the one that I allow these racines to take root?
I think it needs to begin with faith. I've gotten really good at wholeheartedly believing the best in other people, but I struggle for myself. I have to practice having genuine faith in my choices and abilities, and in the words a sweet, wise friend once told me: "You are in the process of building a life with an amazing career, a good marriage, a beautiful family, and wonderful warm relationships all around. Consider those yours already." I have to trust, too, that God/the Universe is on my side. Recently, and more than once, Conan O'Brien's, "If you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen," adage has proven to be incredibly true.
So, there you have it; my excuse for the radio silence as of late. I've also had my fair share of my family and friend time. Wishing you and your loved ones the happiest and healthiest holiday! I'll check in before the New Year. This should entertain until then :).

“If you let your mind talk you out of things that aren’t logical, you’re going to have a very boring life. Because grace isn’t logical. Love isn’t logical. Miracles aren’t logical.” -Barbra DeAngelis