Progress Notes: Patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.

9/11/13: I had an evening appointment with patient today. Patient was still showing signs of active paranoia. "Even my dog has turned against me,"  he said, as he lay on a sofa in his family private quarters. " How so?" I asked.  "During the 9/11 moment of silence this morning he peed on a leg of my blue suit."  I told patient that I could not prescribe anything to help his paranoia when the blood sample I had drawn from him yesterday showed high levels of  Cannabis Sativa.  I repeated to patient that I flat-out will not prescribe psychoactive medications while he is actively using weed. "Keep off the weed and I'll run another blood test to ensure you're not  GWH. (Governing While High]." Patient  began to giggle uncontrollably,  more evidence that the moron was, indeed, high as a kite.---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.