The first time I spoke before a Toastmasters group a decade ago my legs were shaking so hard you could hear my knees knocking together. While the speech went well, it took quite a while before I realized that speaking before groups could be fun.
My clients get nervous, too. They often ask me how to feel calm and confident for presentations, interviews, social occasions, and even coaching their first clients. Here are some of the ideas I share with them:
Start with an Intention: When you have a clear positive intention for how you want to show up and the results you want to achieve, focus and confidence will come more easily.
Prepare and Practice: Taking the time to be well-prepared for a situation, when possible, is another way to influence how you feel in a positive way.
Visualize Success: Let it run through your mind like a movie with you being a winner every time. This is how professional athletes prepare and it can work for just about anything.
Take the Focus Off You: Instead of thinking about what might go wrong or how you might be judged, focus on the people around you. Ask them questions. Get to know them. If you are speaking to a group. put your energy into being of service and how you can leave things better than they were when you arrived.
Breathe: There are many ways that you can prepare in the moments before the spotlight is on you. Some people jump up and down, shadow box, pray, or recite mantras. The most popular and effective strategy I know of is to take big calming and centering deep breaths. This can also work if something challenges you in the middle of a speech or interview. Pausing for a deep breath will buy you time and help you stay calm.
Stand Tall: Your mother was right. It is important to use good posture. Standing or sitting tall can lift your mood and confidence level.
Use Humor: One of my clients had skin cancer removed the day before a work presentation and showed up with a big bandage on her nose. It was the elephant in the room and everyone was uncomfortable until she made a joke about it. The energy shifted immediately and the presentation was a success. You will find in most cases, that being human helps people feel more comfortable with you and receptive to what you have to say.