How is it even possible that I'm in the middle of my 5th month of pregnancy already??? That's right folks. I've made it to 20 weeks. I'm at that half way point, the hump, the middle, the "almost there, but not quite at all," place, and it feels like it happened really fast.
But in any case, the 20 week mark not only feels big, being that I've reached the halfway point, but it's huge in that this is the point at which the medical community notices a shift too. It seems things are categorized in before 20 weeks and after 20 weeks, and I guess I'm now in that second half. It really feels surreal.
It feels like I just found out we were expecting our precious baby, and just learning we'd be having little girl. Part of me is still in disbelief that I'm even pregnant right now, but that part of me is fizzling out, the more pregnant I look and feel, with each passing week.
A lot of people, including myself, figure that since I've been pregnant before and had a baby before that I should be "used to it," or that since it's not my first rodeo, that everything can be expected. Frankly, I don't know what's going to come next, and I'm just as much in wonderment as I was the first time around. Having a second baby doesn't make me feel like an old pro at all in some areas, however in others, I guess I do. My emotions are toying with me more than ever, making me second guess things, making me paranoid of others, and if anything, I'm re-learning more than ever that pregnancy is bizarre, amazing, miraculous and pretty dang cool.
20 weeks began on Wednesday, March 8.
What's going on with baby?
The halfway mark!!! My uterus has expanded. The top of it is now level with your belly button. Eve is now the size of a small banana, and she is about 10 inches long from head to heel. She is swallowing more, which is good practice for her digestive system, as well as for breathing. She's also producing meconium, the black, sticky byproduct of digestion is accumulating in her bowels. This will be her first poo poo.
+6 lb total so far.
I am finally starting to look pregnant, not over indulgent. Finally. Thank goodness. But my bump is way different this time around than last time. Maybe not WAY different, but pretty different. It's different enough to make note of, lets just say that. I mean, check out these photos from last time, wearing the same shirt as above!
It's definitely much smaller this time around, which confuses me since I was told over and over and over again that the second time around, you show sooner, and grow bigger. The opposite has been true for me. I am showing later, and I'm smaller. My doctor reiterates the other thing you always, ALWAYS hear as a pregnant woman. "Every pregnancy is different."
So, while at first I was worried about being smaller and not showing and not really feeling a huge amount of movement, I was given a ton of reassurance at our anatomy scan this past week! We were able to confirm that yes, we are having a little girl, and we were able to watch her move all around. She's ULTRA active, and now I can feel tiny little pokey movements, which is excessively exciting to me. I can't wait until I feel them stronger and more frequently.
I can say that without a doubt, feeling Jack move around and kick and punch and dance was my FAVORITE thing about my first pregnancy, and I can say with the upmost certainty that it'll be my favorite part again. I can already tell.
Also, my acne has 90% cleared up, which is AWESOME, and my nails are stronger and longer. This 20 week mark has been positive all the way around, I'd say!
With a hint of warmer weather last week before this week's projected winter storm, I enjoyed walking more and getting out and about, but I feel like I get a significant amount of exercise just living my life, doing everything I do to take care of Major and Jack, and everything that goes into caring for our home. I also did some laps the other day at the pool, and that felt really good. I plan on adding more swimming into my life once again.
I'm still fitting in one pair of my pre-pregnancy jeans, but I usually wear maternity, even though I'm finding that the waistband part is still too big and I have to hike my pants up constantly throughout the day. Annoying. I'm in an in-between phase with clothes, and I'm looking forward to getting a touch bigger so the pants won't fall off. I am also able to swing both maternity and non-maternity shirts, though I prefer maternity, since they're more cozy.
All I want in the world RIGHT NOW is an açai bowl. Specifically, the Hawaiian bowl from Pure Raw Juice down the street from Major's school.
I fell in love with açai bowls a few years ago when Michael and I took a summer vacation together pre-Jack in San Diego. And this one at Pure Raw Juice is particularly amazing. I discovered PRJ had them after avidly searching for where in Baltimore I can get one... And lucky for me, this place is like 7 minutes of a walk away.
And their Hawaiian one is simply put, amazing. It's topped with granola, kiwi, mango and coconut. Yes PLEASE! Can I have some more?
I've also had really weird cravings that come and go, like the other night was for baked ziti. So naturally, I had to make it. But once I ate my plate, my craving was gone. Since I had made so much, and with Michael gone on business, I ended up having to eat the ziti like 6 meals in a row. I think it's safe to say I'm ziti'ed out.
Another craving? I had this intense one the other day for a tuna hoagie from Jimmy Johns, but it wouldn't do if it didn't come loaded with hot peppers, cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, sprouts and hot deli mustard. Like... I needed it. My mouth is watering so hard right now thinking about it. Maybe I need another one... Maybe for dinner tonight..
Americacone Dream ice cream from Ben & Jerry's is another one I can't stop thinking about. Vanilla ice cream with fudge covered waffle cone pieces and a caramel swirl. I think we all know what I'll be having for lunch today. Because... balance. I was super healthy the other day, so...
I've also had a craving that hasn't gone away for Special K Red Berries cereal with cold milk. That just sounds absolutely spectacular, and has been delicious every morning since I bought myself a box.
Yum, yum. Now I'm STARVING writing about food.
Anything like Hamburger Helper makes me want to die. Just die. Oh, and eggs.
I actually have been sleeping pretty well, only waking to use the bathroom to pee, since I always have to pee. Always.
A little! It feels like someone's in there poking me from the inside out here and there, which is basically exactly what's going on. Sometimes it feels like a worm slithering around too. Which is a weird feeling.
I'm really pretty stable right now. Surprisingly so. Like way more stable than I was last pregnancy. My first trimester was an emotional rollercoaster, and it's not to say that if something sad is on TV or something sweet happens with my cats or my kids, I will shed a tear or two, but I just feel a lot more sensible this time around.
**EDIT** Half way through week 20, this isn't totally the case any more. I cried when my husband showed me a photo of an acai bowl, and I wanted it really bad, but I knew it wasn't in the cards for that day. I cried when I dropped my entire bowl of Special K Red Berries and milk on the floor. I cried at the end of the movie " Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising." I cried myself to sleep for no reason the other night. I cried because my 3 cats Karen AND Chelsea AND Markus all got into bed with me a few nights ago. Not exactly the portrait of stability.
So, as you may recall, Jack was only just 3 months when we moved from TX to MD, and so the whole "decorating a nursery" thing never happened for me. I didn't see any point in doing any decorating since we wouldn't be in that house any longer. Michael moved to Baltimore a month ahead of Major, Jack and myself, and so he, being the amazing man he is, set up the whole nursery for Jack. I was ultra appreciative of that, since I was exhausted with the whole move and caring for an infant and a 6 year old. I vowed that I'd take the time to get his room decorated, but a year and a half has passed, and I hadn't done anything in there. Lame.
So I've decided that THIS TIME it would be different. And since Jack and Eve will be sharing their room, I can FINALLY decorate for Jack too! And the decorating has begun, woo hoo! I started with rearranging furniture, since there will need to be room for the two of them to both have cribs, as well as additional storage.
Since Jack's furniture is dark wood, and Pottery Barn doesn't make the same crib in THAT color any longer, I decided to go with white wood for baby girl's stuff, and dark wood for his.
We purchased a white wood armoire from IKEA with full-length mirrors, which rocks my socks since I didn't have a full length mirror in this house somehow. Weird. Anyway, this will house all of Jack's stuff, and all of Eve's will go into the dresser where Jack's stuff has been. Lots of rearranging.
We also went ahead and got some wall decor in the form of FatHeads for both kiddos. Since Jack has become an avid Star Wars fan, we went ahead and chose some amazing Star Wars themed wall decorations for him, and they're AMAZING. I'm obsessed. And for Eve? We selected Little Mermaid for her. We haven't put them up yet, but soon!
Energy. I miss energy. I'm exhausted ALL THE TIME. A functioning brain. I feel like I forget everything.
What I'm looking forward to:
Feeling more movement. Also, my sister-in-law and her boyfriend are coming to visit this week, which is enormously exciting. She and I were friends before Michael and I were, well, Michael and I. I'm also pretty excited for the snow storm that's supposed to hit tonight. We're expecting to get around 10″ after it's all said and done, and I think that's fun.
Best moment of the week:
My ultrasound, seeing our beautiful little girl dance around, was the best moment by far.