So once again, me and mom got in the car Friday morning bags packed and made our way up to London. I had been booked in on a last minute pre operation appointment and my operation is booked in for Monday. I instantly clammed up Friday, feeling sick and stressed. The pre op was just blood get, ECG, quick chat and bloods. The nurse said that we would only know Monday if the op is to go ahead based on what the anaesthetist decides. They said because my lung function had dropped so much over such a short amount of time they might not be happy, we had this at my consultation with my surgeon to, but my transplant consultant wants this operation done ASAP, rightly so because if its not my lung function will only continue to go down, it's not likely to go up after and most certainly won't before.
I am really nervous, some people might not understand why I'm so nervous, but when your sitting in a consultation with a surgeon and when he gets up and leaves your mom bursts into tears, your going to feel a bit scared. There's alot of ifs and buts surrounding this operation for me and I won't know what has happened until I wake up, I dnt know if it will be open surgery, if my breathing with be vastly affected, I don't now how I will recover and it all worries me. I dread waking up to find out things have gone terribly wrong, but I always seem to wake up and find out things haven't gone to plan. I guess it's enough to put anyone on edge.
I don't really feel like going into everything about the operation, I don't want to turn it over in my head and I don't want to have to explain everything to everyone, I'm just hoping for the best possible out come, I'm hoping to wake up, be transferred to harefield on the Tuesday and within a week be home and two be back to working. If anything else happens I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
So for now wish me luck, I will update when I'm up to it, which hopefully won't be long.
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