I don't know if there is such a thing but I think I am having some frustration attacks again. I've been looking at photos of countries where I should have been and where I could have been living and doing.
I used to have my life figured out already a family man, a father to my daughter. However things didn't work out the way I was hoping for. My daughter is now in a far flung freezing country with no real traditions.
So here I am trying to figure out at the middle of my life span.
I don't know what God's plan is for me.... at least just yet... but I know what are the things that I love to do.
Photography, Traveling and Writing.
I know that I am good with Photography and that I take good photographs. But I don't think that I am good enough.
I also love traveling and writing about my experience but I still think my skills are on a mediocre level still on this field.
I don't really know why are there so many things that happens that hinders me from accomplishing the things I want to do specially those three Photography, Traveling and Writing.
No Turning Back
Back in 2011 I decided to quit work to start a new life and gamble on doing the things that I really want to do starting with Photography. I was a manager back then. Work as a photographer was quite okay when I started I had work every weekend but it wasn't enough to pay the bills.
I looked for a job that would help me pay off the things that I need to on a monthly basis but that job seem not to work well. I have my word of honor, I didn't quit my job and just finished my contract.
Just recently I started looking for work again as a manager thinking that I am ready to join the real workforce that I belong to again. But it has been challenging so far, I am out of funds and starting to get disappointed and frustrated.
While writing this post with the thought of that my situation right now is a Point-Of-No-Return and it dawned into me that me looking for a job as a manager is a step back for me in achieving my goals. But I need to I guess, we are not rich and I need to full a very big cup.
I know I can make it. I know.