So today we are a week away from the break-up of our dis-United Kingdom. So what do we do? We gather together our three leading statesmen, 'Stuffed', 'Stumped' and 'Stoopid', and we send them north to Scotland, hoping they don't get lost on the way, to conduct a winning campaign, turn the tide and save the nation:
'Stuffed' 'Stumped'
'Stoopid'
Yeeeeeeeeees, quite! Still, if those three are at record depths of dumbness then all those thousands of Jocks who believe a word their 'Clan Chief MacFibber' tells them are dumber than the Loch Ness monster who is at least bright enough to know not to exist at all!
Clan Chief MacFibber
Needless to say, there is one organisation which is responsible for this Class 'A' fuck-up and that is the Labour party who, since the end of WWII, have taken every opportunity to swaddle the Jocks in as much state-provided welfare as they can lavish upon them in order to ensure that north of the border they would rule supreme for ever and have a strong base from which to win a majority in Westminster. And what have they got for all their 'loving care and attention'? The political equivalent of a 'Glasgie kiss'*! Now they are on the cusp of losing any chance of forming a government in 'rUK' for decades. Well done, 'Bruvvers', that's socialist planning for you!
Mind you, in ladling out over fifty years of increasingly generous state welfare benefits to all the Jocks, they have handed 'Clan Chief MacFibber' a ripe, old, shit sandwich to chew on. When the Scottish economy hits the bottom of the fantasy tower - approximately 24 hours after they vote 'Yes' - I would guess that welfare costs will have to be cut by about 20%. See how they like that up Sauchiehall Street! Of course, in the long run, and despite John Maynard Keynes' wise but gloomy reminder that "In the long run we're all dead", if the wet, warm, cloying blanket of state welfarism is lifted, Scotland could return to its enterprising best, but it will be a very long, hard journey!
* "A Glasgie kiss": a head butt, with or without a bonnet on!