One Month, One Weigh In, and One Health Hungry Girl

I'm pretty sure that I kicked into self-sabotage last week, I started to lose control of how much I was eating, and over the weekend - I even ate sugar!  The good news is; I didn't go as out of control as I could have, but I was very aware of the snowball starting to roll in the wrong direction. 
The reason I was feeling out of control?  Three simple words; weigh in day.  I set my weigh in days to be once a month, and I knew it was coming up on Monday(today).  I went through all kinds of emotion about the potential outcomes:  What if I step on the scale and I've gained weight, what if I step on the scale and I've lost 5 pounds.  How many pounds do I need to have lost to feel happy?  How many pounds will I have to have lost to feel discouraged.  What if my body just won't let go of the pounds?  What will people think if I don't lose that much?  What will people think if I lose a lot?  Why do I need to weigh???
It is such a fine line between helping people see that my journey is about health, not weight - and the reality that weight is a part of the bigger picture of overall health.  As I've mentioned before, I have been praised for losing 200 pounds - and look where all of that praise got me in the long run.  I want to lose a lot of pounds, but not for the reasons you may think...
I no longer fantasize about being the hottest girl in the room, I fantasize about feeling good in my body.  I no longer fantasize about wearing a size 6, I fantasize about wearing clothes that are cute - and fit well.  I no longer fantasize about getting positive attention from those who won't give it to me at this size, I fantasize about feeling confident, strong, and healthy.  I no longer fantasize about some day returning to my old eating habits, I fantasize about choosing nourishment for my body more consistently.
Yesterday started with a batch of Protein Pancakes... so good.
  I made a Vegan version of stuffed peppers - it needs some perfecting still.
I had heard that cauliflower can be turned into what tastes just like mashed potatoes, my first attempt was pretty good.  It actually tasted like cream of cauliflower soup.  I have a little work to do to perfect those too!
This mornings smoothie:-2 cups spinach-handful of frozen mangoes-1 banana-1 scoop rice protein powder-1 cup almond milk
One month has passed since I (re)committed to making some important changes.  I feel really good about what I've accomplished, and how I've taken care of myself.  The benefits are FAR outweighing the struggles;
~I crave water, green smoothies, and raw veggies every day.
~I actually don't like how sugar, and caffeine make me feel.
~I feel so much lighter, and energetic without wheat or wheat products - one month without bread - and I rarely missed it!!!(who am I?)
~I mostly feel very satisfied, and my cravings are SO MUCH MORE in control!!!!
~I have hope about my future, and am looking forward to moving more in my body.
~I released 20 pounds this month.
~My boyfriend is enjoying how we are eating, and feeling better too.
Now, to help Mr. Meatball - I think I have decided to go back to making his food, more information to come on that too...  It's supposed to be sunny and warm all week here, Happiest of Mondays to you!