On Smug Mothers And Their Perfect Newborns

By Guerrillamom @mariaguido
Week 1 of parenting a newborn:
Baby is awesome and I'm starting to understand all of those smug mothers who say that parenting a newborn isn't hard at all. This is pretty much a cinch - except that she wants the boob every two hours. She doesn't cry, or whine - or act with a sense of general malaise at all times like my first infant did.
This has absolutely nothing to do with me. This little girl is just chill. Super chill. I'm beginning to realize that nothing we do really matters at all (barring abuse, neglect or emotional torment). These children are just who they are and we all need to get over ourselves and stop obsessing about doing everything perfectly all the time. We still don't know how much all of this "uber-concerned" parenting is actually fucking up our kids. We'll know in a few decades when our children are in therapy blaming us for crippling them and leaving them in a permanent state of arrested development.
I was a latch-key kid and I learned independence and how to let myself into the house and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I was five. Although I know all of the independence I had as a child made me the person I am today - I still cut my son's food into ridiculously small pieces and wince when he looks like he's going to fall.
I poured myself a cup of coffee yesterday, sat down for approximately 20 seconds and fell asleep with the full cup in my hands. So yeah - parenting a newborn is a cinch.