I thought I was ready for a comeback and out of control before. Now I am really out of control. It's amazing how I've been eating and not being able to remember what I ate. I haven't tracked in a week or more. That's not why I haven't been tracking; I just don't care. I haven't weighed myself for about a month and I know my clothes are getting tighter. I'm about to bring out my 24s. I know that my 2x shirts are getting too small for me. It's funny how the weight can come back so quickly.
One of my big problems is that I keep eating candy candy and more candy at work. I found out where the community candy bowl is at work. I thought the one on a co-worker's desk that is located on the other side of the room was easy to resist because I don't have to walk past it if I don't want to. It's also not free, so if I don't have money I can't have any. Well, the free community one is right by my row. I'll have to start pretending that I don't know it's there. When I'm not raiding the candy bowl at work I'm eating out of the vending machine. One day I ate three candy bars in a day.
I have been trying to stop myself by giving myself internal pep talks. I've also have my support system trying to talk sense in to me. I've come up with a strategy. One, I will stop bringing money in to work. Two, I'm going to start to downsize. I bought a bag of small sizes of the candy I keep eating out of the vending machine. I will bring a few of them to work with me. It will be better than eating an entire Hershey's with almonds and/or Big Kat. It will also keep me from raiding the community candy bowl.
I haven't been to a meeting for about a month. I keep hearing "That's why you're so out of control". Well, I don't think that's true. I don't think a meeting is going to keep me eating sensibly. My first week on Weight Watchers I didn't go to a meeting and I stayed on the program. I also feel that if my eating is so out of control and none of the advice I could get, or support, I could get at a meeting is going to do any good because I'm so off the program. I've survived far worse by myself, I can overcome this.
I may "eat" my words someday, but for now that is how I feel. I'm stubborn as hell.
So, that's how life is for me. I considered stopping this blog and giving up, but I'm still hanging in there.
Because I know I have a lot of international readers I need to be sensitive to certain things. So, if you're American, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and for the rest of you, I hope you have a great Holiday Season.