No - not a farm. An oasis, perhaps. A hackneyed word in the dusty middle east, I know, but possibly the closest its modern form has ever taken. An island of tropical luxury between desert and construction debris, six-lane highways and obtuse inland highrise. When at The Farm, you can't hear the roads, see the sand, smell the pollution or hear the hammering. Oliver Robinson from Time Out describes it as a scene from "Lost". Before reading that, I myself had though of Jurassic Park - it's constructed, sure, but so dense on the perimeters it successfully transports you to another world. A jungle road leads you in, and within seconds from leaving the 311, you'll find yourself winding through the palm wrapped jungle path of the Al Bahari development (Arabic for the wilderness) to its flagship restaurant. It too is green, tropical, sleek and classy, sheltered and cocoon like. It has its own babbling brook and glittering pond. White fans spin silently overhead, creating an ambience of colonial comfort in a wild outpost and generating the same emotions I find in famous old bars like those in the Galle Face Hotel or Raffles. It's beautiful, has taken Dubai restaurant design a step further, and will be difficult to match. I find it hard to name another venue in Dubai where one feels so completely displaced from everyday Dubai daily grind. Add to that, the food's good, the coffee is reasonable, and the prices are lovely. And so I'll forgive the farm for their silly name.
The only real problem I have with this restaurant it is that it is not sustainable. I'm not talking eco green warrier hippie tree loving organic biodynamic sustainable (although there are probably a few issues here - but not more than any other cafe that has a stab at this happily thriving niche of the market) I'm talking good, old-fashioned, economically sustainable. I just can't make the numbers add up. And so, despite me, and some others enjoying this relatively new venue quite relishingly - enough to bother to drive out to whoop-whoop and do the insane 18km u-turn - I can't see it being a financial success. And so that makes me worry. How long will it stay?
Firstly, it's on about an acre, and nestled in the billionaires hideaway that is Al Barari. That has to make it one of the most expensive restaurant properties by total land value, there is in Dubai. It's in the company of venues like (another strangely named) At.mosphere up the top of the Burj Khalifa - where prices reflect the soaring heights - and the sprawling beachfront Nasimi of Atlantis with its money making capacity of approximately 5000.
Thirdly is the quality. The Farm's policy commands they "select only the finest ingredients in the preparation of its food, most of which are locally grown and organic... ethically sourced and prepared, with emphasis on fine produce and a taste for nothing but the purest combinations." Now - we all know how expensive organic and sustainable food is, not to mention the economic cost of quality. I must admit I do wonder at the possibility that "most" of the menu ingredients are locally produced, but I'll agree, the food is of a very high standard. I've tried their smoked salmon, beef, bread, eggs, salad, juices, coffee and more. Not a whole heap of ground breaking going on in terms of recipe, but the food appears to match the mission statement in "most" ways very well. But it's not just the food - the finishing is dead posh. Menus are on ipads (pity you can't just order and click though - would save a whole heap of waiting for service, and make the gadget actually have a viable use). All white leather, canvas and recycled timbers, glass, perspex and bamboo - outdoor seating in pods, sofas or hammocks, water features as large as a Boeing 777, gardeners raking up falling petals around the clock. It's not cheap looking this gorgeous, and I expect if I also got Etcetera Living to design my lounge interior, then I'd probably wonder why I didn't buy an island instead.
Now. All this might still be sufficient to generate an income IF the staff knew how to efficiently turn a table. After a blissful breakfast earlier in the week, I returned for a Saturday lunch, without booking, at mid-day, hoping I could slide my family of four briefly onto a late-reservation table. The interior had only one table taken at this point, and outside more than two thirds of the tables did not have diners at them. Reserved tables were clearly marked with the time of the booking. Despite that, it took fifteen minutes for me to persuade the maitre'd to allow us to sit at a 1pm reserved table for a quick feed. At moments it was a little on-edge, and if I had not just done an 18km U-turn, and had kids saying it was the prettiest restaurant they had ever seen, then I would have high-tailed it out of there with my nose in the air. Especially when the maitre'd in a period of visible inaction said "Please be patient, Madam, " insert sneer, "You do realize I am doing you a favour here..." Oh. Really? And here, I thought I was the one paying... Eventually, we ate very easily in the 45 minutes that remained, and left the table at 12:58. We then wandered around the garden and sat in the swinging chairs for at least 20 minutes. When we left at about 1:30, the restaurant was still less than a third full - both inside and out. Our own table, I noted, was still unoccupied. My husband will never return. I'm divided - it's just so damn beautiful....
The Farm
Al Barari, Opposite Falcon City.
Phone: 04 392 5660,
www.thefarmdubai.com
info@thefarmdubai.com