Hi, it’s me.
I hate taking pictures of myself because I think my looks are pretty much shot from the glory days of my youth. Every now and then someone snaps a picture of me. Here is me eating out at a restaurant a few days ago. Photo taken by the woman I was having dinner with. We are pretty much the same age at heart, although I am 31 years than she is.
I’m not sure what to think of this photo.
Women my age say I look fantastic, but I guess that’s compared to the competition. I’m not sure what young women think of me. A few tell me I’m cute. I dated a 29 year old woman recently and she told people I was sexy. She asked my friend, “Hey, where’s your sexy friend?” An 18 year old girl told me I was cute recently. She said, “You’re not hot. You’re cute.” A 28 year old woman told me I look great.
If you were very good-looking in youth, which I apparently was because people were always raving about it, it’s a bit hard to take when your looks go, and you’re not that hot young handsome devil male model type you were as a youth. All those women who were always checking you out like you were what’s for lunch? Now they won’t even talk to you. Sometimes if you approach them, they act like they are actually physically revolted. It’s a bit hard to take, but I manage because for some totally psychotic reason, I love myself and I have the psychotic delusion that I am great. I’m not great; actually I am a total failure, but that’s reality, and as I told you, I’m psychotic, and fortunately, I am out of touch with reality. I enjoy this psychosis, and I refuse to take meds to cure myself. I hope to be psychotic like this until I drop.
Look, no matter how handsome or beautiful you are, there’s going to come a day when your looks are blown to smithereens.
“If you bet on the body, you bet on a losing horse.”
Famous Buddhist saying.