Over in Reddit/relationships, a woman posted about how her husband just lost a very good job. He wandered around for a couple of days and didn’t tell her. Then on the third day, he broke down and cried in front of her, completely losing it. Apparently she let him cry on her shoulder. She posted that she felt utter disgust and contempt for him seeing him cry like that. She made the post saying, “Why do I feel this way?” (once again, women have no idea why they do things) and, “Is it ok for me to feel this way?” The commenters, mostly other women, piled on her, saying, “You’re in this for the long haul,” or “This is your marriage – you took a vow,” or “This is the time when he needs you most and you are not there.”
The thread got cross-posted to Redpill and the guys had a field day with it. The profoundly depressing truth was, “Never cry in front of your girlfriend or wife or in front of any woman for that matter.” They also said that men are allowed to cry only a few times – when a loved one dies, when your dog dies and when your wife has a baby. And that’s it.
However, the Redpillers had nothing against men crying in principle. They said if you need to cry, go find some of your male friends that it’s ok to cry in front of and cry in front of them over some drinks. Another man said that when it all gets to be too much, he rents a soundproof room across town. He goes there and drinks, yells, screams, laughs, shouts, cries, you name it. He gets it all out of his system and goes back to society feeling better. The Redpillers were all supportive of this.
A few of the men said, “You know what? This sucks. We should be able to feel and cry more.” The response was, “Well maybe so, but this is the world women have set up for us, so you have to deal it.”
Another pointed that women are always saying that men need to cry more. This is a classic case of women being self-contradictory. I had a girlfriend once who said, “You’re not much of a man,” and then later she jumped all over me because I said I never cried. As you can see, she is totally contradicting herself, but she can’t see it. Women do this all the time.
Some averred that there may be some women who really do want their men to cry more often, but they said it’s almost impossible to tell if your woman is one of them.
I also have some personal experiences in this area.
Last year a woman I know well told me, “Men should cry more! Men don’t cry enough!” Then she told me how her husband of many decades had cried once (over a death).
I happened to know this fellow and I assure you that he cried more than once because I was good friends with one of his sons. He wasn’t a crybaby at all, but he did break down sometimes, often due to family crises such as wild fights and wars with his kids (his relationships with his sons were full of heavy duty conflict). Sometimes he would start crying, his voice would start breaking, and then he would catch himself.
I pointed out to this woman how I knew for a fact that her husband had cried more than once because I knew her sons. She then became quite insistent that he had only cried once in decades of marriage, and worse, she seemed quite proud of the fact that he had only cried once. See the contradiction here? This woman just completely contradicted herself.
Here is the contradiction:
- Idealized view of men “Men need to cry more! They don’t cry enough!”
- Real view of men “My husband only cried once in decades of marriage!” in prideful tone.
Let’s make this easier. Look at the contradiction below:
“Men need to cry more! They don’t cry enough!”
versus
“I am so proud of my husband because he is so manly that he only cried once in decades of marriage!”
That doesn’t make any sort of sense. What does she really believe about men crying? Who knows? How the Hell can you tell? Maybe she’s ok with it, maybe she’s not. Now her son told her husband had cried and started to cry in front her on multiple occasions and she was fine with it, but if we didn’t know that we would have to go by her personal statements which make no sense at all.
In the thread, two men told about how they broke down and cried in front of their women. One lost it in front of his wife; the other in front of his girlfriend. In both cases, the women never treated the man the same ever again, and the women left both men soon afterwards.
It is starting to look like:
Cry in front of your wife or girlfriend -> Your marriage or relationship is over.
Two other men said that they had cried in front of female friends once, and those female friends never treated them the same again.
Other Redpillers averred that when women say, “Men need to cry more! Men don’t cry enough!” that’s actually a shit test, the “worst shit test of them all,” as they put it. In other words, on some level (that most women are probably not even aware of) when women say that, it is nothing but a shit test to weed out the Alphas from the Betas. In other words, if you agree with her, “Yes! Men should cry more! I cry a lot myself!” the woman might sympathize deeply with you (notice the contradiction), but she also learns that you are a Beta, and she tosses you on the reject pile! And if you answer, “Hell no! I never cry! Men don’t cry!” she might get angry at you (notice the contradiction), but you also passed at least one of her “Alpha shit tests.”
Feel free to comment on men crying, women’s opinion of it or anything along those lines.