I am 34 years old, I was born in downtown Salt Lake City at what was then Holy Cross hospital which is now Salt Lake Regional.
My grandparents on my dad's side are staunch ultra-orthodox LDS. My mom's side are non religious and very intellectual thus not easily persuaded toward religion. When I was born it was in a Catholic hospital my dad's parents pushed hard to have my mom transferred to LDS so I could be born at a Mormon hospital and not in a Catholic one.
This pretty much set the stage for how religion in my life would pan out throughout my childhood up until I was 18.
Growing up as 4th generation Military I believed that I should love my fellow brothers and sisters, but there were reason for a "just war" and even the idea that if anyone dies in a war for their country they go straight to heaven.
I noticed growing up that people refer to Jesus by name but the content of His words and teaching were abandoned in favor of the teachings of men. This made me focus with almost laser like efficiency on the four gospels and I even got one that high lighted Jesus' words in red. So I could go right to the Savior Himself to see what He had to say, to see what He did, what He sacrificed and how He lived.
Then came the teenage attitude that I know it all therefore I know best and I left the church and even the idea of God as being real behind. But I still read the four gospels, I still thought that the historical accuracy surrounding the existence of God aside, Jesus prescribes the best method of living.
And then I read the Dammapada, the words of Buddha. And I read the Koran, then I read the Bagavad Gita, I read the Nag Hammadi library and the Dead Sea Scrolls.
I felt inspiration and though I read Nietzsche, Kirekegaard, Plato and learned Aristotle's Nicomachean ethics and loved the heart behind Plato's Republic Utopian ideal I was no longer satisfied by philosophy alone, I thirsted for theology so I went back looking at all the other faiths that I used to transition out of faith to attempt to transition back into faith.
So rather than just read scripture of every faith I went to a synagogue, the to two different Buddhist temples, then a Mosque, then a Catholic Cathedral and I went to countless Christian churches of every denomination I hadn't found what I was looking for though I felt inspired and even felt the spirit. The only church I adamantly refused to set foot in was a Mormon church.
Having been pushed so hard as a kid into everything Mormon and being forced to go as a teenager only made my disdain stronger and what sealed the deal for me is the outrageous attitude and self-righteous judgment of so many Mormons I'd known. The "Yes, he's mormon but he not a good enough Mormon ie doesnt pay tithing or obey the word of wisdom." I wanted no part of a culture and church so entrenched in the self-righteous judgment Jesus Himself forbid. The holier than thou attitude was too common and too much.
Then years later I met my wife and was outright hostile to the LDS church and members, after Prop 8 especially. But then she helped me get over my issues with Mormonism and Mormon people in general. She said I shouldn't avoid Jesus just because these people failed to be true Christians and set out to hurt me or who hurt me out of ignorance, she said don't go to church for the people, go for Christ. Don't blame God for the actions of others, they have free will to do what they will.
And she introduced me to her friend Carl. One does not simply underestimate the recall and literary or scriptural knowledge of Carl. He had also read much of what I had and I had never met a Mormon who had read any scripture from other faiths. The point here is that Carl and his wife shattered every negative stereo type I had of Mormons based on my prior experience.
That was key in getting me to go back to an LDS church and was I did I felt what I had been missing in every house of worship I had entered; I felt at home.
Then I delved into the Bible again even deeper than I ever had before. Book of Mormon to but the Bible is my personal favorite scripture, the four gospels specifically. An I was all the better for that effort.
I learned not to hold the institution of the church accountable for members actions or words and vice versa.
At this point I came across a blog post that put me in a rage. It was about how Jesus was in fact as committed to non-violence as Dr.King or Gandhi was and that He never would have been a soldier Himself therefore we should not be soldiers either.
And even after reading it and the Bible over and over to try and spot a flaw or weakness in this guy's argument, I couldn't because he was right that was in fact what Jesus said and He never once killed anyone, He loved us all instead.
After that I took a deeper look at scripture I challenged previous ideas about God and about our church too. I realized most of what I had a problem with was not validated or even found in scripture and so was inconsequential. I feel I'm in a better place, I'm content in my beliefs and feel that what I believe has produced good fruits.
I believe Christ was amongst other things a pacifist, I believe that we are commanded not to judge one another but we are commanded to love one another even our enemies. I believe that all of these things are intertwined into all of Christ's teachings because when He said that the two greatest commandments are to love God and love your neighbor as yourself He said that all of the law and all the prophets hang on those two commandments.
I have been blessed and enriched by these new understandings.
I thank my wife for receiving the gift of faith again after having lost it. And she credits me for the same in return. So I suppose we each supported the other and we both succeeded together because of that.