Move over, Thor: Ragnarok. There's about to be a new most-watched trailer in Disney history. I present to you the Star Wars: The Last Jedi teaser trailer:
Cynical response: I wonder how much of Luke's dialogue in the trailer will actually be in the movie. Looking at you, intentionally misleading Force Awakens teaser.
Doubling down on the cynicism: To all those who regard Force Awakens as a pale imitation of New Hope, you're probably seeing more of the same from Last Jedi since this teaser promises an Empire Strikes Back-like series of down-notes (thank you very much, Clerks) merged with Luke as Yoda training Rey as Luke.
My actual response: Well, that looks fairly amazing. While this teaser offers up next to nothing on plot (nor would we expect it too) it does at least touch base with all the franchise stalwarts and Force Awakens newbies, even Captain Phasma. Plus, it drops some tantalizing questions for the superfans and clickbait-needy outlets to obsess over for months (whose hands is touching that map? wait, what's that map even for? why does Luke think the Jedi need to end? is that scene with Luke and R2 a flashback to Kylo Ren's Knights of Ren massacre?). Moreover, it gets in and gets out without spoiling anything, reminding us that, in the incredibly small chance we'd somehow forgotten this, there's a new Star Wars movie coming out this Christmas. But, come on, everyone's going to see it. That's just the new law around Christmas, that and pretending as if egg nog is anything other than disgusting.
What do you think? Are you in the cynical, overjoyed or meh camp in response to the trailer? And have you had just about enough of my ongoing war against egg nog? Likely story. I bet the egg nog council got to you. How much was your dignity worth, egg nog apologist? Let me know in the comments.