I was heading to the saloon from work and on getting to the first saloon being carried in a vehicle, I did not find the stylist I was looking for, I decided to go try my other saloon and since the vehicle had left and so I decided to join a bus.
After a long day at work, it was not the best feeling to hear a driver who is screaming at everyone in the bus, not even feeling like though he spoke to humans, but hey, I was in and the only thing I could do was wait until I get to my destination.
I tried making my payments on time because I knew I did not have the exact amount and I needed the driver to get the change before I get to where I will highlight but then he responded as though I was the devil he had a fight with in his dream, so much anger in his voice that I almost did not understand what I said wrong, with my tired self, I did not even have the strength to respond as I knew that was going to lead to different type of things, so I rather held myself and let him take the lead.
Getting to my place of highlighting, I finally gave him the money and while I was still trying to get out of the bus he decided to start collecting money from everyone and that was going to keep me waiting for a long time, I waited for a while and then I asked for my change, at first it seemed like I was talking to myself but that did not stop me because I was running late, when I asked the next time, he looked at me, sighed and threw the money on the floor then drove off and I was left with the option of picking the money from the floor. At first, I was so upset, my heart was swelling, I could literally just quit all I have to do and go home, I was wondering what on earth will make a driver throw money on the floor.
But then as I watched the bus drive off, I quickly reminded myself that there are lessons to learn from everything and this was just a test of how well I can take control of my emotions
I was able to manage myself well and had a happy day after all not minding how close anger looked me in the eyes and I said, I am not cut out for this.
This did not happen as magic, they are things I have gotten to understand and put to practice.
So for the next 5 Tuesdays, I will be doing a few in-depth training on anger management, its cycles, triggers, the Do’s and Don’ts, gaining control and solving the problem.
ANGER MANAGEMENT (LESSON ONE)
The Cycle of Anger
Anger is a natural emotion that usually stems from perceived threat or loss. It’s a pervasive emotion; it affects our body, thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Anger is often described in terms of its intensity, frequency, duration, threshold, and expression.Anger typically follows a predictable pattern: a cycle. Understanding the cycle of anger can help us understand our own anger reactions, and those of others. It can also help us in considering the most appropriate response.Illustrated below are the five phases of the anger cycle: trigger, escalation, crisis, recovery, and
Anger is a natural emotion that usually stems from perceived threat or loss. It’s a pervasive emotion; it affects our body, thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Anger is often described in terms of its intensity, frequency, duration, threshold, and expression.
Anger typically follows a predictable pattern: a cycle. Understanding the cycle of anger can help us understand our own anger reactions, and those of others. It can also help us in considering the most appropriate response.
1. The Trigger PhaseThe trigger phase happens when we perceive a threat or loss, and our body prepares to respond. In this phase, there is a subtle change from an individual’s normal/ adaptive state into his stressed state. Anger triggers differ from person to person, and can come from both the environment or from our thought processes.
2. The Escalation PhaseIn the escalation phase, there is the progressive appearance of the anger response. In this phase, our body prepares for a crisis after perceiving the trigger. This preparation is mostly physical, and is manifested through symptoms like rapid breathing, increased heart rate, and raised blood pressure. Once the escalation phase is reached there is less chance of calming down, as this is the phase where the body prepares for fight or flight (to be discussed later).
3. The Crisis Phase As previously mentioned, the escalation phase is progressive, and it is in the crisis phase that the anger reaction reaches its peak. In the crisis phase our body is on full alert, prepared to take action in response to the trigger. During this phase, logic and rationality may be limited, if not impaired because the anger instinct takes over. In extreme cases, the crisis phase means that a person may be a serious danger to himself or to other people.
4. The Recovery PhaseThe recovery phase happens when the anger has been spent, or at least controlled, and there is now a steady return to a person’s normal/ adaptive state. In this stage, reasoning and awareness of one’s self returns. If the right intervention is applied, the return to normalcy progresses smoothly. However, an inappropriate intervention can re-ignite the anger and serve as a new trigger.
5. The Depression PhaseThe depression phase marks a return to a person’s normal/ adaptive ways. Physically, this stage marks below normal vital signs, such as heart rate, so that the body can recover equilibrium. A person’s full use of his faculties return at this point, and the new awareness helps a person assess what just occurred. Consequently, this stage may be marked by embarrassment, guilt, regret, and or depression.
Which do you think best describes your cycle of anger?http://feeds.feedburner.com/LifesTreasury