Moving to America: Decisions Made While Highly Medicated and Slightly Intoxicated

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
It has come to my attention, via some awesome cable TV style schooling, that I must up and move from Oz to the US of A. I have no family in America. I only know a few peeps over that side of the planet.
There will be schools and jobs to find, housing, visa's, all that shiz. Still, we must move.
All because of one TV series.
EXTREME COUPON CLIPPERS

Image credit


OMG OMG OMG TIMES A FREAKING SQUILLION
I would rock the shit out of coupon clipping.
I would own it and make it my bitch Nanny (because I need a Nanny more than I need a bitch). 
Blows my mind that someone could walk out of a grocery store with trolley loads full of stuff and have the supermarket give them a few dollars back once all the coupons have been used. 

Word, Einstein. Word.
Image credit

Do they have wine and vodka coupons? Is there a night school training course on maximising one's coupon cutting knowledge and skills? Could I get my own TV show if I was to move to the States and become a Master Couponer?  Be crowned a Couponess? While I've been wallowing in the pits of man flu hell, living on Maltesers and M&M's, wine and medication (it's been a total riot, yo), this is what has consumed my thoughts as I trawl through my Foxtel iQ box of recorded reality TV gems. I've always wondered which reality TV show would suit me best. I have found it - extreme shopping for next to nothing, a refund even, if you're lucky. OMG...it's like being paid to shop. I am beside myself. Also, moving to the USA would bring me that little bit closer to being beside George Clooney. Heh.

Seriously, people: All that liquor and a Nespresso in hand - it was meant to be. We belong together. You could should complete me, George.
Image credit