Movie of the Day – The Goonies

Posted on the 03 March 2013 by Plotdevice39 @PlotDevices

My love of The Goonies is probably greater than that of a parent and their newborn child.  I don’t think that I could ever like something more than this movie.  I wouldn’t say it defined my life, but The Goonies is the movie that got me into cinema.  It’s the reason I love watching and writing all things cinema.  I can quote this movie with the best of them.  I own this movie on multiple formats.  I can do the Truffle Shuffle, which is also a sad statement on the state of childhood obesity.  Ke Huy Quan will never be referenced by me as Short Round, but as Data.  I will be a Goonie for life.

Adapted by Chris Columbus from a story by Steven Spielberg, the film follows a group of misfit kids (including such second-generation Hollywoodites as Josh Brolin and Sean Astin) as they search for buried treasure in a subterranean cavern. Here they cross the path of lady criminal Mama Fratelli (Anne Ramsey) and her outlaw brood. Fortunately, the kids manage to befriend Fratelli’s hideously deformed (but soft-hearted) son (John Matuszak), who comes to their rescue.  ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

What kid didn’t watch this movie and immediately form a band of misfit neighborhood kids to go on adventure?  I mean good Lord I was captivated by this movie and their quest to find One-Eyed Willy’s lost treasure.  I also laugh every time someone says “One-Eyed Willy” cause I lick dick jokes a lot apparently.  Anyways, the hunt for the treasure seemed like the greatest adventure that these kids will ever have with booty traps, I mean booby traps, and a gang of I assume Italians after the kids and the gold.  Also come on Donner and Spielberg, don’t perpetuate the stereotype of Italians as gangsters.

This is the quintessential movie in my eyes.  From a fun adventure filled with traps, scares, pirate treasure and one of the most kick ass water slides ever on film.  How could watch this and not want to be friends with Chunk, Data, Mouth and Mikey as they swear their way through a network of caves.  Sloth ending up being a total badass even after the initial scare you got as a kid.  I so wanted a rube goldberg device to open my front gate and a zip line connecting me to my friend house.  Slick Shoes!  Boxing glove hidden in a trench coat!  Data was awesome!  It’s the perfect kids movie with everything and pretty much defined my as a movie watcher.  Hell if you asked me what my top ten films of all time are, The Goonies is number one.

I want to go on at length about this movie, I really, really do, but I am going to restrain myself to some media clips of my favorite parts.

I would have followed Mikey to the ends of the Earth with that speech.  This is our time guys, OUR TIME!  Such a riveting way to appeal to a young kids sensibility with a speech that compels you to go on with your adventure.  That speech moved me to tears when I was little and it even hits a little close to home now in my young adult life.

God damn I love Chunk.  That had to be one of the funniest moments in the movie where Chunk is having to tell the truth about all the bad things he has done in his life.  I guess maybe being threatened to have your hand pureed in a blender might put the fear of whatever god you believe in, but the funniest aspect is that the Fratellis are just sitting there, for what I imagine was like hours, listening to Chunk spill his guts.  Also I envied the fact that we didn’t have a theater with a balcony to try out the fake puke prank.

Being a fat kid, you had to learn how to do this and do it well.

HEY YOU GUYS!

Mouth certainly had a way with words.

The Goonies are good enough guys.  I can still probably karaoke to this with no issues.

GOONIES FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!