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When I went away to college popularity wasn’t as important. But again I had gravitated to a certain group of people. My first college roommate was a party girl. I tried to hang with her, but it wasn’t really my scene. And she grew tired of my whole sleeping at 2 a.m. thing and having to tip toe into the room trying not to disturb me. A few months into our first semester she up and decided she wanted a private room.
That was fine by me actually because the girl who she traded rooms with was a perfect roommate for me. We are still friends to this day. And a lot of my college memories are wrapped up in her. So it all worked out perfectly. I finally started enjoying college. With my new roommate came a whole bunch of other really great friends. Girls I took weekend trips to the Keys with. Girls who brought me to the hospital when my grandmother was very sick so I wouldn’t have to drive on my own. Girls who let me use their sandwich maker when I would miss lunch because I was in class during the entire time the cafeteria was open for lunch.
It was a good group of friends. And we all have sort of gone our separate ways. Living in different states. I didn’t finish college. I left after my sophomore year and had a baby. The 2nd of my group of college buddies to do so. But since I came back home to CT my long distance friendship with these girls made it so I had to work on finding new friends.
Up until this point in my life for the most part my group of friends consisted of people who were no more than 2 years older than me or two years younger than me. When you become a mom a whole new world is opened up to you though. As a 20 year old mother I found there weren’t too many other 20 year old’s in my same situation. And really, that never mattered to me. I slowly began meeting other moms who were a few years older than me.
Of course, meeting other moms that was kind of the hard part. I started joining some internet groups when my oldest was really little. As a matter of fact to this day I still talk to my very first group on a regular basis. We live all over the country. One is even over seas and on her way back to the states. I have only met face to face a few of these women, but they are my go to group of mom friends because they have been there the longest.
I did need some in real life friends to though. Actually, nine years ago when we moved to the town we currently live in I was chatting with a mom online and come to find out she lived right behind me. I could walk out on my porch and she on hers and wave to her. We became fast friends. She introduced me to a local playgroup and I made a whole large group of mom friends. One by one those moms have moved away. We stay in touch through Facebook.
I still have that first friend. But something I have found since becoming a mom is it’s really not hard to make mom friends. Not if you go to where moms are. Through the kids school I know and am friends with several of the moms. Not all have kids in my kids grade. But even just going to the library, my kids always end up playing with someone else’s kid. And it’s not hard to start chatting up another mom at the library when your kids are hitting it off so well.
My kids have become the ice breaker. The way to introduce myself to other people. The first common ground we can begin talking about to then later find we have other things in common.
Popularity isn’t so much a concern. Partying isn’t a concern. Quite frankly if a mom doesn’t like me it’s really no skin off my nose. And I have friends from all different walks of life and different ages. We’re not in high school anymore. There’s just something a little more relaxed about making friends. It’s no longer about the clothes you wear. Now it’s about who you are.
Have you found it to be easier to make friends as a mom?