In the epigraph to his novel “After Many a Summer Dies the Swan,” Aldous Huxley writes: “Have no expectations and you’ll be rewarded.”
I can’t disagree with that, but who among us truly has no expectations? Is it even wise to attempt to have none? As I see it, the key to enjoying life and maximizing our potential is not to eliminate expectations, but to manage them.
Something happened to me this week to illustrate this. I’ve always been squeamish about touching my eyes, but I decided it was finally time to overcome my phobia and get contacts. My eyes are so bad that I wear my progressive gasses all the time. Without them, I can’t see a thing—not the computer screen I’m typing this on, not my husband’s face across the kitchen table, not the trees in my backyard. Sure, I can see outlines—right now I can tell that the upper branches of my favorite copper beech are swaying in the wind—but few details.
My hope was that I would no longer have to wear glasses period. But after consulting with my optometrist, I lowered my expectations. He warned me that bifocal contacts—at least the kind I need—don’t provide perfect vision. When I told him that what I most wanted was to wear contacts when I do my TV show, give speeches, and dress up to go out to dinner, he said he could give me a prescription that would enable me to do all three.
I’ve been wearing my lenses for a few days now. I can’t read small print or clearly see objects in the distance, but I’m not unhappy about this. I didn’t expect to be able to do those things. Not only did I conquer my fear of touching my eyes—if I can do that, I can do anything!—but I can finally hug people without my glasses getting in the way. How sweet is that?
Let me be clear that I’m not giving up on my hope that someday the technology will improve to the point where I’ll be able to wear contacts all the time. (If some of you have had better luck with bifocal lenses, let me know.) Managing expectations, in other words, is not about settling for less.
But for now, I’m thrilled.