Lunch with (a Side Of) Nad's

In between an illustrious career working on military bases and then attempting to live vicariously through the holiday bookings of others, I attempted a home-based business of my own. Because I wanted it all - to amass a small fortune, enough to afford me a housekeeper, chef, nanny and cosmetic surgery....all from the comfort of my own home and elastic waisted pants. So naturally I did a course in acrylic nails and branded myself a home based nails and waxing professional.
The nail thing was a bit of a fizzer.  Your average shopping center chop-shop I was not.  What they take 30 minutes to do was taking me 2 hours.  By the time I finished one set of nails both the customer and I were slightly delirious and high.  I swear I can still smell the chemical fumes in my living room / professional salon, to this day. The waxing, on the other hand, I was a pro at.  The one crucial piece of advice #1Nana heartlessly shipped me off sent me to my fancy pants boarding school with was this - Never ever shave your legs.  Always wax.  In 10 years you will thank me. She neglected to instruct me on how to tie my tie. She completely forgot to mention that I would be required to iron a bastard pleated skirt 5 days a week. And she most definitely did not tell me about the bars on the windows of the boarding house, the farting house dog that developed a disturbing affinity for me, or the lack of males at an all-girls school. Outrageous.
And also, how exactly was I, as a 12 year old, meant to trust her vision for my gratitude 10 years into the future?
So obviously I took to shaving with a gusto.  Which is difficult when sharing a total of 10 showers with 35 other girls and a very brief window of time for showering.
I'm quite sure I lost my entire blood volume over the first year of shock and panic every time a girl went in or out of the shower block and the cheap shower curtains whipped up in the air.
Eventually I decided to give waxing a go. Holy mother of vodka that shit hurt! But eventually it didn't, and long story short - I became a life waxer. It pains me to admit it - even now at the age of slightly over 28 - my mother was right. I took to my waxing career with gusto.  I did eyebrows, I did legs, I did lady-mo's.  Thankfully, my clientele consisted mainly of friends, and so I did not have to do lady parts.  Because there are some things you just don't want to know about your besties, right?
My first male customer was a middle aged guy who I often saw riding around the area, lycra clad, all Cadel Evans (I totally would've said Lance Armstrong if he wasn't currently in a state of disgrace).
He stripped down completely - all that lycra, all in a bunch on my tiles - and asked for a back, crack and sack wax....and that was when I put my hands up and retired from my tragically brief, but nonetheless illustrious home based business empire. Five years later I finally used up all of the wax I had stock piled. FIVE YEARS. The point of this harrowing and somewhat epic tale? I know a thing or two about wax.  But not as much as Nad's. Nad's is celebrating 20 years in the wax business, and I have personally kept them stocking the shelves of my local supermarket for the past 6 years (since my previous supplies finally ran out). I love Nad's.  I always have.  Which is why I jumped at the chance to attend a Nad's luncheon and meet the amazing Sue Ismiel, creator, and all-round lovely and charismatic business woman. Also, just a little bit more successful at her business than I was at mine. My favorite product is the Nad's Facial Wand Eyebrow Shaper. I LOVE this product.  I take it away with me everywhere I go.  No mess, no heating, and very quickly and easily your lady-mo is removed, your brows are back to their preferred shape. I can't recommend this particular item highly enough.  It is so much better than dripping wax all over your face and hair.  It is so much easier and cheaper than going to a salon.  Or your local DIY home-based expert.... The latest addition to the Nad's range is going to be a huge hit: Nad's Nose Wax I'd love to say I know how awesome it is first hand, but I don't. #1Hubby ran a mile when I casually suggested he let me de-fuzz his nasal passage. But he is a confirmed wimp when it comes to hair removal.  One single wax burn and accidental removal of half a goatee and the man becomes a quivering mess the second I produce a wax product near his person...
So obviously I'm going to get him drunk under the guise of sex, and instead wax his nose.  He has no idea how lucky he is to have me, right? 
For my own part, I can't wait to use the other end of the Nose Wax applicator which is for blackheads on the outside of the nose.  I love clean pores.  I find this idea genius, and I can't wait to try it. And it wouldn't be right of me to finish this post without saying congratulations to Sue Ismiel and the Nad's team for 20 years of waxing genius, ridding unwanted body hair on a global scale.
Please, now permit me a couple of subtle name drops to close out the post... Did I mention that Liz Davenport, Australian Fashion Icon, also came to lunch?  We chatted over children.  Hers are all grown up, and I may or may not have admitted that I'm positive I'll enjoy mine just that bit more when they're old enough to share a bottle of wine with me.
Did I mention that Max Markson ate Nad's wax to prove its all natural ingredients are just that - all natural? And obviously edible.  Personally, he didn't need to prove this point to me, as The Feral Threesome have snacked on Nad's wax in the past, when I've forgotten to put it away.  It is quite sweet and toffee like, in case you're wondering.
What?  Of course I had to taste it after witnessing my kids dig in enthusiastically.