Alas, I'm away visiting two very old friends today and, yes, when I say 'old', just like me, I mean OLD! I should be back later today and all that time on the motorway will allow me to marshal my arguments to convince you that even if you have to hold a cloth over your nose it is essential that you vote for 'Dim Dave' at the next election. And I will go further and attempt to persuade you that your conviction that 'there is something rotten in the state of Britain' whilst it is true to a degree, it is mostly an old truism that most Englishmen have muttered for centuries. Most of you 'UKIPpers' seem to be suffering with terminal grumpiness and I fear that your inchoate anger will led you into foolishness. I will explain why later on today.