It's the journey, not the destination.
I have to admit that during my winter holidays, a subtle but ever-present sense of impending doom plagued me and sometimes detracted from my enjoyment of that special time. All my life I have been eroded by anxiety, to the point where I made myself sick in high school during a period of extreme pressure. This time it felt like something similar was bound to happen.
2014 looks like a daunting one. So many challenges ahead with potential hard times, many important decisions to take, and so little certainty about the future. Then why do I feel surprisingly serene this time? Why is my head not filled with images of worst-case scenarios and feeling like it's all red flashing lights, alarm wails and buildings in flames inside my mind?
What changed, then? I think mainly three things made the difference:
1) Regular exercise has really helped me to keep my anxiety in a manageable level, pumping my brain with endorphins and helping me get rid of stress. Running, in particular, is very cathartic. Also, it has the added bonus of giving you a great feeling of achievement and motivation by seeing the tangible results of your efforts.
2) Self study and working on improving my mindset. I have been doing a lot of research on how to become a mentally strong person and how to develop a inner harmony and state of stillness; I want to generate my own happiness and fulfillment instead of waiting for external forces to ephemerally bestow it upon me. I found some really helpful cues on books like Prometheus Rising, Fragments of an Unknown Teaching and Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. It feels like the pieces of this jigzaw are starting to fit together and slowly fall into place.
3) A little help from my Friends: Meeting and chatting for hours with my friends in Mexico was like being shaken out of my tunnel vision and suddenly presented with a new, fresh perspective of what lies ahead. Each one contributed to help me put the light back in my spirit, helping me recover my sense of purpose, confidence and determination to keep pushing and fighting to achieve what I want. I am putting their advice into practice and it's making a big difference in my life already!
On one of the very first days of 2014, I was talking to Güitar Güero about our plans for this new year, giving him some prompts to feel more motivated about his work and life.
"I know you think there is so much left to do that it feels overwhelming; and it's true, a lot of hard work and discipline will be required to get anywhere. However, maybe you can change your approach to it: instead of panicking and getting stressed about it, look at it as an adventure."
Remedios Varo, Exploration of the Source of the Orinoco River.
Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity. Don't make elaborate expectations about anything, just throw yourself fully in the moment. Enjoy the process of learning, of novelty, instead of constantly comparing your perceived progress to some fixed idea -that might be all wrong, anyway!- and having the eyes set on a distant goal while life passes you by.
It seems like the best advice one gives is the one that one needs to put into practice the most, isn't it?
Guitar Güero told me that the concept of looking at life's uncertainty as an adventure really helped him feel relieved of a lot of pressure and unnecessary concern. In fact, I want to turn that into a theme, a sort of motto that I can remind myself of whenever I'm about to get anxious or overwhelmed: Just look at it like an adventure!
Being intensely present, enjoying the fast pace and busy times, and shaping this year into a great one, day by day, that's my plan. Having no expectations, just doing my best every day and letting things be.
Stop waiting for your life to begin and embrace this moment, make it precious!
Thanks for reading,