So finally she goes! Snorting and snuffling and aided with a good few kicks and whacks from the scrofulous hacks of Fleet Street, Ms. Maria Miller MP and now ex-cabinet minister, waddles off down to the parliamentary slaughterhouse whilst, please remember as you sob into your hankies - er, you were sobbing, weren't you, not laughing? - at the same time hanging on like a leech to the £40k she still owes me! Oh, alright, me and you and all of us. It is perhaps a fitting farewell to this fat sow that she has managed to unite both the communist Morning Star and The Sun ('We Love It!') who are cheering her demise.
Now, of course, in an hour's time we can anticipate a Prime Minister's Question Time in which gawpy Ed 'Milipede' will attempt to score a winner given that the goal is wide open with 'keeper' Cameron flat on his back still wondering what hit him! The thing is, faced with such an easy open goal, will 'Milipede' have remembered to check that his boot laces haven't been surreptitiously tied together by Ed Balls? It is an indication of just how utterly useless 'Milipede' is that even with 'Dim Dave' now shown to be beyond measurable stupidity in backing that greedy bitch, it is still not a certainty that he has what it takes to insert the knife in the right spot- and twist it!
However, in the meantime, let us raise a glass to those dreadful creatures, male and female, with their dandruff and down-at-heel shoes who have hammered in the nails of this story to the doors of Westminster. Well done, er, 'ladies' and 'gentlemen' of the press, the drinks are on me, er, but I would appreciate it if you would stand downwind!