Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. – 2 Timothy 1:6-7
Life has been like a rollercoaster ride for me lately.There have been down days which are quite overwhelming for me to share in this blog.Days when I lay on my bed talking to God and begging Him to just end all the madness…Because I was just. too. tired.I felt trapped, played the victim…And wished that my life was different from what it is now.But you know, just like a rollercoaster, you don’t get to remain at a low point…And as long as the rollercoaster keeps moving…You’ll wake up to find yourself high up in the air once again.And then your zest for life just comes back…The adrenaline starts to rise up again and you just can’t seem to stop wanting to live life the way you want it to be.And then life gets both scary and exciting at the same time.
It hurt like hell when a person close to my heart said this in front of my face:“You’re getting old and nothing seems to be happening to your life.”Ouch.Freaking ouch.I don’t know if it was my pride that caused the hurt…Or perhaps because there is a huge amount of truth in those words that they stung so much.I took those words too seriously…Initially, in a negative light…I couldn’t understand why people had to be harsh…I felt too embarrassed and disgusted with myself for being unaccomplished in anything in my late twenties.But in the end, I realized that I have power over my life…And not only power, but more importantly, responsibility over it.
Lately, I have been looking into opportunities that I could grab…Opportunities that would help me grow as a person…Opportunities that will make my life more meaningful…Opportunities that will teach me lessons…Lessons that can only be learned by living life…And not just existing.Because existing is definitely not enough.I just feel like I can do so much more and BE so much more than what I am right now.
I am not doing this to prove other people wrong on what they think about me…But rather, I am doing this to prove to myself that I am more than what I think I am.