Here we come Venezuela. It’s America, here to bring freedom and democracy! Open up! Let us in! We are the harbingers of freedom and human rights, so you need to be liberated with democracy so we can give you some human rights and freedom and all that jazz. And after we liberate you, boy will you have a lot of human rights! Oh man! If you survive our genocidal liberation that is!
Honestly, I just cannot understand why Venezuelan ingrates do not want to get liberated like all the rest of the countries we liberated with freedom and democracy lately. What’s 500,000-1.5 million dead if you get wonderful democracy in the end? I’m sure the Libyans, Syrians and Iraqis all appreciate that wonderful democracy we gave them.
Not to mention the Afghanis. Hell, only ~1 million of them have died since we invaded? And look at the great democracy they have now! Good thing Afghanistan is not a failed state or anything like that! Whew, we really dodged a bullet there, huh?
Syria still needs liberating, a work in progress, but isn’t it a great thing? Isn’t it better to be ruled by the Arab Spring of democracy and freedom in the areas ruled by ISIS, Al Qaeda and other radical jihadis? They allow lots of freedom and democracy in those places, I bet! Better than living under that evil dictator Assad. Can you imagine the gall of that man? He actually lets the Syrian Christians survive instead of killing them, evicting them and making them pay the jizya like the jihadist freedom fighters in ISIS and Al Qaeda do! Outrageous!
I’m sure glad we haven’t turned Syria into a failed state and a nightmare on Earth. We Americans are too nice to do that. After all, we are good. We are always good. It’s only our enemies who are bad, and they are always pure evil. Everything is black and white! America is always pure good, and its enemies are always pure evil. I’m sure glad everything is so simple! Otherwise I might get confused! After all, I’m just an idiot American! Forgive me if I can’t think! No one ever taught me to!
Iraq is already free. Yay! Freedom! Freedom fries! Down with the French! Down with the Eurotrash and their pussy human rights crap! What’s all this crap about saving lives? America isn’t here to save lives. We’re here to do the opposite. To bring freedom and democracy! Yay!
Isn’t freedom great? Bombs going off all the time, full-blown war and atrocities every time you look out the window, actual genocides going on…wow! Who wouldn’t trade a dictatorship for such wonderful things?
And look at Libya! Good thing it’s not a failed state or anything like that!
America doesn’t create failed states. We create democracies! Yay! Yay for democracy! Yay for freedom! Yay for Humanitarian Bombing! Yay for democracy at gunpoint in a hail of bullets with a side order of genocide to go! God I love America.
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
We’re number one! We’re number one! We’re number one! We’re number one! We’re number one! We’re number one! We’re number one! We’re number one! We’re number one! We’re number one!