Things have been tough lately, I've been struggling and I haven't been the mother I want to be. I've been angry, short tempered and disengaged.
Chai has settled well into kindy, he likes it and is happy to go. I watched him as he walked in to kindy today, he was so cute. He made sure he said hello to all his teachers, put his things away and then walked around the room saying hello to his friends. One boy he wanted to say hello to had his back to Chai, so he put his hand in the middle of his back then stood at his side to say hello. It was so cute and so grown up, I felt really proud.
It's strange seeing him grow up. Already I'm having to let go a little bit. I feel slightly distant to him since he's started kindy, he has a whole part of his life that I know very little about. The temptation to keep him home is strong, but I don't. He needs kindy. He's a very social child so kindy is good for him. Plus, keeping him busy gives him less time to think about how much he misses Tiger when he's away. And it gives him time away from his brother.
For the past few months he's been constantly telling me that he doesn't want Eljay. A few times he's even said that he wants the Dr to get rid of Eljay. I'm hoping kindy will give him the space that he needs so that he can enjoy spending time with his brother.
It's also nice for me to have some time alone with Eljay. He loves having me all to himself, we get to play, dance and read without Chai and I can see how much Eljay enjoys it.
So after all my whinging about kindy, it's turning out well. I'm so, so happy I can say that.