K-Mart Says Do Your Christmas Shopping Now! Gotcha! We Didn’t Say “Simon Says.”

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

It seems like just yesterday we were writing about Target pushing the holiday envelope by running Christmas ads in early October. It seems like yesterday, because we, like Target, aren’t so good with keeping track of time.

Hello, Target, here comes a new challenger! CNBC reports that, K-Mart ran Christmas advertising yesterday, September 9, making it the earliest holiday advertising ever, according to Adage.com.

“Don’t let the holidays sneak up on you…” the K-Mart ad warns.

3 Other Things That Could Be Sneaking Up On You

1. Memory loss - if you think that Christmas is sneaking up on you in the summer, and live anywhere but a melting iceberg in the Arctic Ocean. In which case you better be careful, polar bears might be sneaking up on you, too, especially if you’re a penguin, and the iceberg is melting after years of global warming caused by people driving to K-Mart, and then leaving and driving to Walmart.

2. If you’re K-Mart, you might want to watch your back for H-Mart. They are a real thing and well ahead of you in the alphabet, which might be meaningful if people still used yellow phone books to find grocery and department stores.

3. If you’re K-Mart, you might also want to watch your back for convenience store chain, Circle K. They will draw a circle around your entire logo, just like a school teacher indicating an error, like confusing “summer” with Christmas, or K-Mart with “somewhere cooler to shop than Dollar Tree.”