"*Just Diarrheas Everywhere*," Plus 4 More Great Tweets

Let's meet down at the old Arby's where there's no right or wrong, no good or evil. Just sandwiches & men. waiting to kill. waiting to die.
— Nihilist Arby's (@nihilist_arbys) February 6, 2015

*Ok, don't let her know you're a dog* Happy Valentine's! Here's some chocolates! "Oh, let's share!" Umm, ok! *just diarrheas everywhere*
— Terry F (@daemonic3) February 7, 2015

Tip: When I'm having a rough day at work, I just pop on a Spotify "Chill" playlist and slowly put a cigarette out on my arm.
— Ryan Patricks (@Ryan_Patricks) February 6, 2015

That moment when you wonder if you have Parkinson's or you're just an alcoholic.
— Crunk Jews (@Crunk_Jews) February 6, 2015

Hello radio shack employee I'd like to return this robot, I fucked it, I mean it's broke
— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) February 6, 2015