Eric Holder rushes into the Oval Office. “I’ve got shocking news to tell you,” he says. “Right behind the public library on Wesley Place, we found that ISIS has set up a headquarters in an abandoned building. We’ve found weapons, maps, computers, bombs—you name it. It’s a big operation right here in D.C., and it looks like they’re making plans.”
Obama looks stunned. “Whoa,” he says. “That is a shock. I didn’t know we had a public library on Wesley Place.” [ECS]