Is the Whole Country on Food Stamps?

“Did you sign up for Obamacare?”

I was sitting in the barber chair, getting my hair cut, and the question caught me off guard.

“No. Did you?”

“Yes, I signed up,” said the Korean woman who cuts my hair. “It’s cheaper than paying the fine.”

“How much is it?” I asked her.

“Nothing,” she said. “It’s free if you don’t have money.”

Now this I found odd, because she owned the hair salon I was in, and she had two other hair cutters working for her.

“Are you on food stamps?” she asked next.

“No,” I said.

“You should get on food stamps. I can tell you where to go.”

“Are you on food stamps?” I asked her.

She smiled sheepishly and hesitated for several long seconds before saying, “No.”

I didn’t believe her.

“It’s two hundred a month,” she said. “It helps.”

“But don’t you have to be broke to get food stamps?” I asked.

“Oh, no. It’s easy. You just have to sign up. If you want to get on them, tell me, and I’ll tell you where to go.”

I paid her twenty bucks for the haircut and went home. An email from a friend read: Do you know how to get food stamps?

I emailed him back: Aren’t you working?

His reply: Job sucks. Where do I go for stamps?

My reply: Talk to my barber.

Then I turned the computer off.

Later at work, a black guy at my job sailed by me saying, “The revolution is coming!” He set up shop in the break room, making chicken sandwiches. “You want one?” he asked me.

“No, thanks,” I said. “I just ate.”

“Well, take one for later,” he said. “I got plenty.”

“Save your money,” I told him.

“It ain’t my money, it’s EBT. You don’t have your EBT?”

“No.”

He dropped what he was doing and looked at me like I was from another planet. “What’s wrong with you? We don’t make enough here to survive. Get yourself an EBT.”

Back home, I click on the link that Anonymous has posted several times: It’s free! It’s free! Swipe yo EBT!

Yup. The whole country is on food stamps.

Note: The food stamps program is now called the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP)

From the US Dept. of Agriculture Food & Nutrition Service:

How Can I Report SNAP Fraud?

If you see or hear about SNAP fraud, tell us. Help us protect your tax dollars.

FNS takes aggressive measures to fight all fraud. We appreciate the help of concerned citizens.

Fraud reports of any kind may be filed with the USDA Office of Inspector General.
- Call
  - (800) 424-9121
  - (202) 690-1622
  - (202) 690-1202 (TDD)
- Write
  - United States Department of Agriculture Office of Inspector General PO Box 23399 Washington, DC 20026-3399
- Online
  - Electronic Mail (usda_hotline@oig.usda.gov)
You can also report fraud to your State. This is especially important if you think that someone lied about their income or assets, or is misusing their benefits.

Your report is confidential.

Help us Fight SNAP Fraud.